IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measure will be needed. Discuss both sides.

The number of crimes being committed has been increasing tremendously. Serving
death
Use synonyms
 as a punishment seems to be the only way to deal with the situation
Linking Words
according
Punctuation problem
, according
show examples
 to some people.
However
Linking Words
, opponents suggest other measures need to be put in place. The essay will discuss both sides in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are various situations that justify the
death
Use synonyms
 penalty. One of the main reasons is that it creates fear among criminals by setting an
example
Use synonyms
 of the consequences. There is a lower probability of crime if offenders know the possible outcomes of their
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
. In rape
cases
Use synonyms
giving
Punctuation problem
, giving
show examples
 out
death
Use synonyms
 sentences
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 fully valid.
This
Linking Words
 ensures that people will think twice before
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 serious offences.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, the number of rape
cases
Use synonyms
 in South Asian countries has been increasing
tremedously
Correct your spelling
tremendously
 because governments have failed to set up an
example
Use synonyms
 for criminals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
cases
Use synonyms
 where
death
Use synonyms
 punishment seems to be a bit extreme action. One of
such
Linking Words
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 murder in self-defence.
Although
Linking Words
punishment
Correct article usage
the punishment
show examples
 of killing someone is
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
a death
show examples
 sentence but if someone is trying to protect themselves
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the criminal
got
Verb problem
is
show examples
 killed in the process of saving
.
Correct pronoun usage
themselves.
show examples
Then
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 case,
hanging
Correct article usage
the hanging
show examples
 of the victim does not get justified.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 sentence serves a great purpose of
fearing away
Verb problem
deterring
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
law offenders by setting a great
example
Use synonyms
 for them. But, in self-defence
cases
Use synonyms
, it seems unjustified.

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task
To raise your score, add a clear view at the end. Say what side you favoured and why, and give one clear reason. Use simple language.
coherence
Link ideas with simple and straight words. Use a clear flow: one idea per paragraph, with a short sentence at the start and a short ending.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Common wrong forms in your write are committing, tremedously, etc. Use only the simplest word you know.
structure
The essay tries to show both sides, not just one side.
structure
It uses basics like 'To begin with' and 'On the other hand' to show sides.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime
  • crime rate
  • serious crime
  • murder
  • theft
  • punishment
  • death penalty
  • capital punishment
  • life sentence
  • prison
  • jail
  • police
  • court
  • trial
  • judge
  • justice
  • rights
  • evidence
  • proof
  • fairness
  • cost
  • money
  • budget
  • policy
  • reform
  • rehabilitation
  • education
  • work
  • jobs
  • health
  • mental health
  • poverty
  • prevention
  • stop
  • reduce
  • lower
  • safety
  • victim
  • offender
  • community
  • society
  • balance
  • trend
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