IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable affects on people’s health and well-being. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is a significant amount of proof that the overuse of vehicles contributes to climate change and
overall
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 public health. I strongly agree with
this
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 opinion because the CO2 emissions are increasing the temperatures rapidly, affecting not only the environment but
also
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 people's well-being. The excess use of motor cars leads to a growing amount of fuel emissions, which are not only polluting the air but are
also
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 damaging the ozone layer.
This
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 is a natural protector from direct sunlight, and
as a result
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, the
overall
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 temperatures are rising rapidly. A good example of
this
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 is the increasing number of heatwaves that different regions have experienced in recent years.
Also
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, CO2 has a more immediate impact on the air, which can easily be observed in urban areas. As
such
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, in big cities, the air quality is poorer
due to
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 the disproportionate number of cars
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. Overuse of personal vehicles can
also
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 negatively affect an individual's health
as a result
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 of less movement. Nowadays, people will choose to take their car or a taxi
while
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 going to work, school, or to the store.
This
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 indeed is more comfortable;
however
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, the lack of exercise is detrimental to the human body and mental health. To
this
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 extent, I would argue that a walk after work can be a good form of physical activity and help clear the mind much more than the stress of traffic. In conclusion, I hold the view that carbon pollution generated by the overuse of cars is one of the main reasons for the negative evolution of climate change and
overall
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 declining public well-being.

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task response
Plan your essay. Start with your view, add two main ideas, and give one clear example for each.
fact check
Keep facts clear. Do not state facts you are not sure about. If you are unsure, talk about what you can prove, like temp rise and big heat waves.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use words like also, and, but, for example, to join ideas.
structure
Write each idea in its own paragraph. Try to have one main idea in each paragraph.
grammar
Check your grammar. Short, clear sentences are easier to read.
task response
The essay shows a clear view and a plan to back it up.
coherence
Examples such as heat waves and air clean issues are used.
structure
There is a simple shape: intro, two bodies, and conclusion.
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