The bar chart compares the percentage of people who participated in three activities (online shopping, cinema visits and gym membership) in a city in 2000, 2010 and 2020.

The bar chart compares the percentage of people who participated in three activities (online shopping,
cinema
Use synonyms
visits and gym membership) in a city in 2000, 2010 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
cinema
Use synonyms
visits accounted for the highest,
whereas
Linking Words
online shopping remained the lowest.The dominant category shifted over the period,
while
Linking Words
the lowest figure
also
Linking Words
change
Wrong verb form
changed
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by the final year In detail, online shopping changed noticeably over the period, rising from 10% in 2000 to 60% 2020. Over the period
Use synonyms
cinema
Punctuation problem
, cinema
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visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
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declined consistently, from 55% in 2000 to 30% in 2020. Gym membership remained relatively stable, hovering around 20% In
general
Punctuation problem
general,
show examples
cinema
Use synonyms
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
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declined end of the timeframe.
In contrast
Linking Words
, online shopping showed an upward trend and gym membership experienced only minor
fluctuating
Use the right word
fluctuations
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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