IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that all university students should study only academic subjects, while others believe university students should also study practical life skills (like budgeting money, cooking, communication skills, etc.). Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

With the growing competition among students, reading and learning from books
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along
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, along
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 with practical
knowledge
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knowledge,
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 can help with
life-skills
Use the right word
life skills
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 and practical thinking. It is often perceived by people that scholars should only study academic
Use synonyms
subjects
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subjects,
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whereas
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 the rest of the public argues, they should
also
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 consider studying practical life skills
such
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 as communication, budgeting money, cooking
etc.
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, etc.
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both
Fix capitalization
Both
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 of
the
Correct article usage
these
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 views
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along
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, along
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 with my
opinion
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opinion,
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 are examined in the
further
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, forcing or not supporting a student can heavily impact
on
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apply
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what they do.
While
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 studying academic
subjects
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a
lots
Fix the agreement mistake
lot
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 of
merits
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merits,
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 it still does not mean that it is necessary. Some students are not good at learning new things or studying tough
course
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courses
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,
whereas
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,
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apply
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 they could be excellent at some other skill
On the contrary
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, allowing students to choose the
subjects
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 they are interested in can enhance their
overall
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 performance. Studying
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of courses can provide them
an
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with an
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 idea of what interests them or which path they want to pursue.
For example
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, if a student is fond of instruments and music, studying economics and accounting is not going to help him grow
rather
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; rather
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taking
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, taking
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 courses in
this
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 field and coaching of
hands on
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hands-on
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 practice will gradually make him perfect
eventually
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, eventually
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 becoming a great artist
According to
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 me,
while
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 studying important
subjects
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 can foster academic satisfaction and personal growth, focusing on preferred
subjects
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 can help with
future
Correct article usage
a future
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 career path. In conclusion, a balanced approach is needed, so that a student can focus on both sides without neglecting their field of interest
resulting
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, resulting
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 in
powerful
Correct article usage
a powerful
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 future and useful skills.

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planning
Plan your answer before you write. Say your view in the first paragraph and then add both sides.
structure
State your idea clearly in the intro. A short plan sentence helps.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Keep the idea in order.
content
Give more real examples from life. They should fit the topic of life skill and study.
grammar
Check grammar. Fix small mistakes like 'a lots' and 'forcing or not supporting a student'.
task response strength
The essay tries to show both sides and your own view.
coherence strength
There is a good outline with an intro, body and conclusion.
content strength
The idea of balance is clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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