IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of books bought from different sources in one European country since 2000 with a projection for 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given line graph depicts
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 amount of
books
Use synonyms
 purchased from different sources in
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 European country since 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 bought from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 showed a general upward trend from 2000 to 2008,
while
Linking Words
books
Use synonyms
 from
bookshops
Use synonyms
 declined.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 from all sources
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 expected to rise by 2012, except for
books
Use synonyms
 from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. In 2000, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 was ordered from
bookshops
Use synonyms
, which was 40
books
Use synonyms
 higher than that from
supermarkets
Use synonyms
. The least share was
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 by
books
Use synonyms
 from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, which accounted for 110
books
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, during the next eight-year period,
books
Use synonyms
 bought from online stores
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased
Change preposition
to its
show examples
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 peak at 150.
However
Linking Words
,
books
Use synonyms
 purchased from
bookshops
Use synonyms
 and
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 converged to a similar figure, each accounted for 140
books
Use synonyms
. It is noteworthy that, in 2012,
books
Use synonyms
 from
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 are projected to reach a peak at 160, which will be nearly 5
books
Use synonyms
 higher than that from
bookshops
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 will be purchased
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online, which will account for about 135
books
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, number, supermarkets, bookshops with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • increase
  • rise
  • grow
  • go up
  • fall
  • decrease
  • drop
  • stay
  • remain
  • reach
  • peak
  • trend
  • source
  • channel
  • online
  • bookshop
  • library
  • second-hand
  • share
  • make up
  • account for
  • by 2012
  • period
  • total
  • compare
  • in contrast
  • whereas
  • projection
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