The diagrams below show the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The cycle shows the procedures
of
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for
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producing
sugar
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from
sugar
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cane. It can be ‎seen that there is a six-
stage
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process, starting‏ ‏with growing‏ ‏
sugar
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cane and ‎ending
at
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with
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drying and cooling
final
Correct article usage
the final
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product. ‎ The first step of producing
sugar
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starts after growing
sugar
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canes, which takes ‎one to one and a half years. At
this
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, laborers
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laborers
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labourers
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or machines work to harvest ‎the
sugar
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canes manually or automatically. After that, a machine, using a pair of ‎circular wheels, crushes the
sugar
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canes between rollers. The final result of
this
Linking Words
stage
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‎is the non-refined sugary juice. At the next
stage
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, a filter called limestone ‎purifies
sugar
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juice from unwanted substances.‎ After purifying, the refined liquid is moved to a big container to evaporate ‎under heating conditions. Throughout
this
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phase, the liquid juice turns into ‎syrup.
This
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syrup will be transferred to
centrifuge
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the centrifuge
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. At
this
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penultimate
stage
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,
sugar
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‎crystals will separate from
syrup
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the syrup
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by high-speed rotational movements.
Finally
Linking Words
, after ‎drying and lowering the temperature of
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sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar
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,
final
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the final
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product will be stored in a ‎container.‎

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultivation
  • harvesting
  • mechanically
  • juice extraction
  • purifying
  • impurities
  • evaporation
  • concentration
  • crystallization
  • centrifuges
  • distribution
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