IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that modern technology is making people more social, while others think that it is making them less social. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Introduction
Modern
technology
Use synonyms
 is rising nowadays
ans
Correct your spelling
and
 is the most important thing in
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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thing
Use the right word
think
show examples
 that modern
technology
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 is making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 more social, but others think that
that is
Linking Words
affcting
Correct your spelling
affecting their social
thier
Use synonyms
 socail
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay
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 will discuss
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
Use synonyms
 making
people
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 more or less social
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
then
Linking Words
 will show the
Use synonyms
essay
Check wording
essay's
show examples
 side.
Body paragraph 1
On the
on
Use the right word
one
show examples
 hand,
technology
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 is a big part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 daily
life
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.
People
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 think that the new
technology
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 helping them to do more
socialazing
Correct your spelling
socialising
.
For example
Linking Words
, they think that
technology
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 helping them to communicate more and making friends
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 becoming
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
easier.
Overall
Linking Words
, modern
technology
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 helping
people
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 to
communcate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 more and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 more friends.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 think that modern
technology
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making
Verb problem
is making
show examples
people
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 worse
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
socialazing
Correct your spelling
socialising
. that because
people
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 are using
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 for a long
time
Use synonyms
 and they do not communicate
witrh
Correct your spelling
with
 others more often.
For example
Linking Words
, when they
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 phones or any device for many
hours
Punctuation problem
hours,
show examples
 they will
socialaze
Correct your spelling
socialise
 less
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they will have a problem with making new friends.
In addition
Linking Words
, modern
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 is harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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id
Use the right word
if
show examples
 they
use
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 it for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
The
essay
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 agrees
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
 modern
technology
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 harmful
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
socialazing
Correct your spelling
socialising
. Because they will
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 devices for a long
time
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with out
Use the right word
without
show examples
consedaring
Correct your spelling
considering
 their own
socail
Correct your spelling
social
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if they
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
addicted
Punctuation problem
addicted,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 them
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
worse in
counncation
Correct your spelling
communication
 and other skills.
Overall
Linking Words
, if they
use
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 for a long
Use synonyms
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 it will be
harful
Correct your spelling
harmful
 for
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 social
life
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 discussed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
Use synonyms
 making
people
Use synonyms
 more or less social and
then
Linking Words
showed
Verb problem
presented
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
essay
Check wording
essay's
show examples
 side. Some
people
Use synonyms
thing
Use the right word
think
show examples
 that modern
techolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 good, but others
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 not
goo
Use the right word
good
show examples
 for
socialazing
Correct your spelling
socialising
. The
essay
Use synonyms
 agrees with the
secound
Correct your spelling
second
 opinion
that is
Linking Words
 not good for
socialazing
Correct your spelling
socialising
.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Say what you will say in the intro. Then write two short parts for the two views and finish with your own view.
structure
Use one idea in each paragraph. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
grammar
Use right word forms and check spelling so words fit their use.
examples
Give a short example for each idea and keep the ideas simple.
content
The writer tries to show both sides and give a view.
structure
Linking words are used to show contrast.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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