IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead going directly to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages.

Some
students
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after
Punctuation problem
, after
show examples
 finishing
school
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 they travel or
work
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 for some time
instead
Linking Words
 of going directly to
university
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.
Although
Linking Words
 it will affect their memory about what they have learned in schools, they will have enough time to save
money
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 to
study
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aborad
Use the right word
abroad
show examples
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 they will improve their communication skills
while
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 travelling. The primary advantages of working right after finishing
school
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 are saving
money
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
becaues
Correct your spelling
because
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
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 aim to
study
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 abroad,
therefore
Linking Words
 they have to make
money
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
tipical
Correct your spelling
typical
 way is to
work
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 and save
money
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 they get from working that
becaues
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because
university
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cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 a lot to get
in
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into
show examples
 it.
Menwhile
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Meanwhile
, people who travel after they finish
school
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 aim to have
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher level of good
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
 by trying to meet and get to know new men
amd
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and
 women
in
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on
show examples
 their trip.
For example
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, the New York Times recently reported that 77% of
students
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 who stopped studying to
work
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, so they can save
money
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 to get to
study
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abrod
Correct your spelling
abroad
, have success
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 now they are in the best universities around the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the disadvantages
for
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of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 that
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
 will forget all the information they learned in
school
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will end up facing a lot of struggles
as a result
Linking Words
 of wasting their years
to
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
work
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 or
travel
Verb problem
travelling
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 before
ending
Verb problem
completing
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 their education.
However
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 will
without
Punctuation problem
, without
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doubt
Punctuation problem
doubt,
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 affect their ability to
study
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 with no challenges.
For example
Linking Words
, a
study
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 in King Abdulaziz
University
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 recently concluded that 65% of
students
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 who skipped years after
school
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then
Linking Words
 went to college have faced challenges in their education. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 working or travelling after
school
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instead
Linking Words
 of going directly to
university
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 can help them
saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 or improve their skills, it can clearly affect their ability to continue
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 without
forgeting
Correct your spelling
forgetting
 the main data they learned in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.

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structure
Plan your answer with a clear start, then two body parts (pros and cons), and a short end.
clarity
Make each idea as a simple sentence in its own line. Keep ideas easy and linked.
grammar
Spelling and word choice need care. Try to use common words and fix common errors.
accuracy
When you say facts, try to give real, clear evidence or note that it comes from a source.
linking
Use good link words like first, next, also, but, however to show how ideas fit.
focus
Keep ideas about the topic. Do not go far from the task.
content
The essay shows both sides of the topic.
structure
The ending line tries to sum up.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • school leavers
  • real-world experience
  • independence
  • structured environment
  • financial benefits
  • academic momentum
  • gap year
  • rigors
  • sidetracked
  • social disconnect
What to do next:
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