IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In you letter: Give details of your study plans Explain why you want to get a part-time job Suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Dear Ms Ngoc, I hope you're doing well. I'm fine. I am writing to share that I will be going to your country to study. I'm happy, because I will live near you. But I am
also
Linking Words
 worried, because I don't have a
job
Use synonyms
 when I come new country. I would like to have a part-time
job
Use synonyms
. Can you help me get
apart-time
Use the right word
a part-time
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 there? I will learn in the morning and afternoon,
therefore
Linking Words
 I have free time in the evening. I want to do a part-time
job
Use synonyms
 in the evening to have income. I think, in the country there is a high product, so I want to really have a part-time
job
Use synonyms
 like in a coffee shop, in a clothing store or in
supermarket
Correct article usage
a supermarket
show examples
. I hope that you can help me. Please reply to me. Wish best wishes. van anh

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make three small parts: 1) why you write, 2) your study plan and why you need a job, 3) how your friend can help. End with a kind closing.
grammar
Use 'part-time job' every time. Change 'apart-time' to 'part-time'.
content
Add a bit more detail about your study plan: what you study, where you will study, and when.
tone
Keep a polite and calm tone in the letter.
tone
Polite tone and friendly greeting.
content
You show time and need for income.
purpose
You ask for help clearly.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educational aspirations
  • Work experience
  • Financial independence
  • Resume (or CV)
  • Local job market
  • International student
  • Legal requirements
  • Student work permit
  • Employment trends
  • Time management
  • Networking
  • A part-time position
  • Balance studies and work
  • Job hunting strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: