Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Recently, online shopping has been accepted by
majority
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the majority
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of young customers.
Although
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,
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apply
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Personally
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personally
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, I believe that the advantages fully outweigh the drawbacks it brings to us because it creates jobs. As a core service of e-commerce, online shopping highly relies on a stable network, a reliable shipping and delivery service. Possibly, an expensive package is easily missed or stolen.
Furthermore
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,
increasing
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an increase
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of
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in
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online orders requires
the
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an
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rise
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increase
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of
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in
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transportation, which could cause
a
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apply
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heavy traffic.
For instance
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, the growing number of vehicles leads to
the
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an
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increase
of
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in
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gas usage,
results
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resulting
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in the growth of air pollutants.
That
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These
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are reasons that I think these drawbacks limit the development of e-commerce. On the flip side, most importantly, buying goods on
internet
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the internet
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is beneficial because
of
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apply
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it creates millions of job opportunities.
In addition
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, with the convenience, flexibility and efficiency it brings, the customers are not required to visit the store physically, which saves time and money under certain times.
For example
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, students could compare the price from
online
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an online
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store with
local
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a local
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store before ordering, in order to save money for other needs. In conclusion, online shopping changes our lives by its positive elements
but
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, but
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the advantages still more than its disadvantages.

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Task Response
Task Response: The writer states a view and gives some reasons, but ideas are not fully developed. Add more clear reasons why the good points outbalance the bad, and add more real life examples (like how shoppers deal with refunds, or shipping costs) to back up the claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay follows a simple order (intro, drawbacks, benefits, conclusion) but some sentences are long and ideas can jump. Use one clear idea per paragraph and link sentences with simple transitions (also, but, so, however, therefore).
Task Response
Clear view is given at the start: the writer says online shopping has more good points.
Coherence
There is a simple plan: an intro, two body parts on the sides, and a short conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • discounts
  • accessibility
  • global marketplace
  • availability
  • fraud
  • scams
  • lack of
  • physical interaction
  • personal experience
  • impersonal
  • customer service
  • delays
  • delivery
  • return process
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