IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The quality of healthcare a person received should not depend on the size of their bank balance. The government is responsible for providing a high level of health level of health care for all its citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Healthcare
Use synonyms
 is a
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
fundamental
basic
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
need in the
country
Use synonyms
. I thoroughly believe,
people
Use synonyms
 should not depend on individual payment
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to access
healthcare
Use synonyms
 facilities.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
 for senior
citizens
Use synonyms
 and children in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I agree
Correct article usage
the governement
show examples
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 must provide
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 advanced
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 to all
citizens
Use synonyms
 with free access.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 has different rates of taxation programs
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 their taxes to build up
te
Use the right word
the
show examples
country
Use synonyms
.In that
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 equity sharing plays
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 crucial role among the
people
Use synonyms
. As an example, if
old
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
 person
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has to undergo with most expensive cardiac surgery and if they unable to pay.
Linking Words
Then
Use the right word
The
show examples
 government should have a procedure to cover
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain amount of the cost. Because senior
citizens
Use synonyms
 have
payed
Verb problem
paid
show examples
 their youth to
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
. It is not ideal to depend on their
insuarance
Correct your spelling
insurance
 or bank balance to
proceed
Verb problem
address
show examples
 the situation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Correct pronoun usage
it increase
show examples
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 longevity and productivity among young communities. After
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
show examples
 era,
usally
Correct your spelling
usually
 all young generation
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 health issues.
Such
Linking Words
 as
repiratory
Correct your spelling
respiratory
 failures, heart attacks
..
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
etc. Having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good health is a crucial factor of success as an individual. As an example, if 29 year
old
Correct your spelling
29-year-old
well educated
Use the right word
well-educated
show examples
 male who works as an engineer having a respiratory failure should not
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
depend on their bank balance to survive. Saving
such
Linking Words
young
Punctuation problem
young,
show examples
 valuable spirits brings more opportunities to the
country
Use synonyms
.
Development
Correct article usage
The development
show examples
 of the
country
Use synonyms
 relied on
young
Punctuation problem
young,
show examples
 healthy generations. As
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 conclusion,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 has more liabilities to build
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
healthy
Punctuation problem
healthy,
show examples
 strong nation to a
country
Use synonyms
. Developed countries have
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
high level
Use the right word
high-level
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 to provide
all
Change preposition
for all
show examples
citizens
Use synonyms
. Spreading
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 money with equity and equally, giving priorities to urgent case scenarios, having
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 and constant tracking
system
Use synonyms
 helps to improve the level of
Use synonyms
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
system
Use synonyms
. I agreed to having free access to
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
high level
Use the right word
high-level
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 with low demand as any type of citizen.

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task
Say your view in the first line and keep it in all parts of the text.
structure
Make one main idea in each paragraph and add a short example.
coherence
Use simple link words to move from one idea to another, like also, but, for example.
example
Give clearer, real examples or facts to back your points.
language
Check spelling and grammar so the text is easy to read.
content
Your plan to give care for old and young is clear.
stance
You want care for all and not only money.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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