IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this trend can be negative influences of the youth and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant exa your own knowledge or experience

People
Use synonyms
 always try to find an activity that
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
 them to take it easy in their free time. Any activity can transform a
person
Use synonyms
 into
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 in what they dream about it. Shopping is an experiment that they can increase their
happinies
Correct your spelling
happiness
. I think there are both good and bad effects. I partly agree that shopping gives a
relaxing
Check wording
sense of relaxation
show examples
 to a
person
Use synonyms
 who
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to feel
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
satisfied. Shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 give a safe space for teens. They can hang out with friends
while
Linking Words
 they
are sharing
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
 ideas about what they want. Especially
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 during winter times, adolescents are seeking an indoor place where they can find everything at once
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
. Reflecting on pandemic days,
people
Use synonyms
 were so bored at
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
home where they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 limited space.
In
Use the right word
In-person
show examples
person
Use synonyms
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 pretty
limitied
Correct your spelling
limited
 because of the precautions
since
Punctuation problem
, since
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 missed those
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
 when they could interact in social life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can waste time and money where they could
easliy
Correct your spelling
easily
 shop
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
 item which is not needed
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 them.
This
Linking Words
 can harm money habits and values.
For example
Linking Words
, the credit card usage at the shopping mall is a feeling that
people
Use synonyms
 have money
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 actually it
would
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a debt for them in the future. In my own
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
 I have seen both sides; with balance
malls
Punctuation problem
, malls
show examples
 can help, but
over use
Use the right word
overuse
show examples
 is bad. I partly agree.

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task response
For task response, make your view clear in the first line and keep it there. Add one strong reason and simple example for each idea. End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, plan your essay with a clear order: intro with stance, two or three body parts each with a main idea and a detail, and a short conclusion. Use linking words like first, also, but, so to link ideas. Check spelling and grammar to help clarity.
idea
The writer gives a view that shopping can be both good and bad.
evidence
There are some real examples like debt from card use and the pandemic to back points.
structure
There is a basic plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • time
  • young
  • people
  • shop
  • shopping
  • center
  • place
  • meet
  • friend
  • safe
  • help
  • job
  • work
  • learn
  • new
  • skill
  • event
  • activity
  • spend
  • money
  • buy
  • price
  • cost
  • good
  • bad
  • balance
  • value
  • health
  • mind
  • feel
  • family
  • study
  • sport
  • plan
  • limit
  • home
  • school
  • life
  • choice
  • day
  • money
  • budget
  • save
  • together
  • life
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