evaluate 🌿Some people believe that success in life comes mainly from hard work and determination, while others think that factors such as money and family background are more important. 🌿Discuss both views and give your own opinion

The term "
Success
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" has evolved so widely, classified into different categories
such
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as financial stability, career, education and many more have been discovered
now a days
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nowadays
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. I firmly believe that reaching up to a certain level, hard work and perseverance are the key factors.
Apparently
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Apparently,
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others support that
:
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apply
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references, family background and monetary levels are the prime reasons
,
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apply
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that contribute towards the
success
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. History is full of examples
,
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apply
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of those individual
,
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apply
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who managed
themselves
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apply
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to achieve
by
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on
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their own.
For
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In
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a
Correct article usage
the
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longer
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long
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run, we may need a good foundation. Which
only can
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can only
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obtained
Verb problem
be obtained
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from hard
labor
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labour
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, and someone who follows the hierarchy from
very
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the very
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bottom. There are many
entrepreneurs
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entrepreneurial
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giants who proclaimed that initial
learnings
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learning
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are
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is
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crucial for any business.
Certainly
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Certainly,
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it helps to develop
the
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apply
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wisdom and empathy.
Apparently
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Apparently,
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initial challenges
,
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apply
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gives
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give
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the readiness check for the big challenges down the line.
Any one
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Anyone
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can manage to achieve their desired goals
,
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;
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one
need
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needs
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to make a plan
of
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for
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it.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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it is
truth
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true
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of nature
, individual
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that, individual
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with better
connection
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connections
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and good monetary standings
,
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apply
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gives an upper edge. Most of the
times
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time
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, capital is considered to be a key of various
resources
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resource
show examples
. It will become more convenient to get into good universities, money gives you leverage to try
hit
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the hit
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and trial method on any ideas
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that comes
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comes
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come
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into mind.
In addition
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to that good family connection means that, individual is already decades ahead of someone
,
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apply
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who is starting their journey from
beginning
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the beginning
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.
For
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example
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example,
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we have noticed many Bollywood actors, their
offspring's
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offspring
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are
also
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working in films just because of
connection
Correct article usage
the connection
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of
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to
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their parents.
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While
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On
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on the other hand
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,
hard working
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hard-working
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performers are waiting outside for the break of their career, to work in cinemas.
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Lastly
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Lastly,
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I believe that
,
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apply
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it depends on the industries where you are aiming to get
success
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,
how
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and how
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much
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influential
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the connections are
influential
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apply
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. But it clearly states that
the
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apply
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success
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comes
Rephrase
always comes
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with hard work always comes with other soft qualities. May help in
to become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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a good human being. Government bodies in
current
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the current
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era are trying their best to fade the monetary reason
of
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for
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someone's
success
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. By giving the student
and
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apply
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training support. I think
by
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that by
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the time we may witness good changes in our society.

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content
To improve task response, answer all parts of the task and give a clear opinion.
coherence
Work on linking words; make the idea flow in clear order.
language
Use simple, short sentences; fix grammar and spelling.
content
The essay shows a will to discuss both sides and to give an opinion.
content
There are some examples to show points.
content
Some idea on money and family as a factor is shown.
Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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