IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

In our modern
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
, a number of people choose
self employment
Use the right word
self-employment
show examples
 over working with a company or organisation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the demerits of being a businessman or owner in
paragraphs
Correct article usage
the paragraphs
show examples
 below. To commence with, one of the drawbacks to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 an owner
instead
Linking Words
 of working under a
business
Use synonyms
 employer, which is
boundation
Check wording
a boundary
show examples
 to work.
In other words
Linking Words
, whether an individual is feeling healthy or not, it is mandatory to present at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 to run the
business
Use synonyms
.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, there is no time to take care of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health, because absence at work leads to loss in
business
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a bakery owner who
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 invested a smaller amount in the
business
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 can not afford the closure of the bakery, or
due to
Linking Words
 perishable items
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as the small number of consumers, because of
monopolistic
Correct article usage
a monopolistic
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 corporation.
In contrast
Linking Words
, an organisation can easily afford the loss
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because of the larger capital invested in the
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
no job security in businesses since there is always
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition in the market
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 for every
product
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, the more
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
options available, the higher the choices for the customers.
For instance
Linking Words
, we often visit markets to compare the prices of a particular
product
Use synonyms
, but end up choosing the cheaper
product
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, there is no mental pressure
of selling
Change preposition
to sell
show examples
 a
product
Use synonyms
 for
profits
Fix the agreement mistake
profit
show examples
to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 salary
while
Linking Words
 working with the organisations.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 one of the disadvantages of being
self employed
Use the right word
self-employed
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 people prefer working on their own,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there are several disadvantages
choosing
Change preposition
to choosing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 option
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 work
boundation
Correct your spelling
boundaries
 and pressure of being

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task response
Make a clear plan first. Say two or three main points and stick to them. Give a simple example for each point. Finish with a short closing line.
coherence cohesion
Make the flow smooth. Use a small intro, clear topic sentences, and a closing line. Use linking words to join ideas.
structure
The topic is clear. You write on one main idea per part.
examples
A real example is used to show a point (bakery case).
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • freedom
  • work hours
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • earn money
  • profits
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • responsibility
  • personal growth
  • challenges
  • financial security
  • flexibility
  • independence
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
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