The world is heavily dependent on oil for energy, which is unsustainable due to global warming. What future resource do you think will take oil's place? Why do you think this ?

Humans have been using oil as their main source of
energy
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for hundreds of years.
This
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continuous exploration leads to the depletion of their reserves, because
this
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type of
energy
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is regarded as a non-renewable resource.
Therefore
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, scientists are trying to find other
energy
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sources to supersede oil, as
this
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essay elaborates.
To begin
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with, the use of oil for
energy
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has proven to pollute our environment. In many big cities around the world,
such
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as Jakarta, Mexico City, and New Delhi, air pollution stemming from petrol and gasoline emissions has led to air quality deterioration
due to
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a toxic substance called carbon dioxide, and
this
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results in many illnesses,
such
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as asthma, cancer, and respiratory syndrome.
Furthermore
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, the greenhouse gas emissions released from fossil fuels into the atmosphere will trap heat,
then
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accelerate global warming, and eventually lead to climate change.
This
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can be found in Antarctica, where the average temperature has risen by approximately 0.6 °C over the
last
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20 years. To address
this
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problem, humans have made an incredible innovation,
for example
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, electric vehicles, which are considered environmentally-friendly because they do not use fossil fuels for engine combustion, but batteries embedded in the body of these vehicles. When the battery almost runs out of
energy
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, they will charge it with the electricity devices installed at home. The government of China has encouraged their citizens to use electric cars since the beginning of 2005, and
this
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resulted in approximately a 25% reduction in air pollution. In conclusion, I contend that using electric cars is the most sensible solution to reduce dependency on fossil fuels. By doing so, greenhouse gas emissions will be reduced
,
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apply
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and eventually decelerate the global warming process.

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task response
Task response: The idea is clear: electric cars can cut pollution and help the world. But the essay could say more about other ways to use less oil and give more facts or proof.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The plan has an intro, body and end. Link words help, but some ideas do not fit well. Use more linking to show cause and effect and to move ideas from one to the next.
strength
Main idea stays on topic: electric cars can reduce gas and pollution.
strength
Conclusion restates view clearly.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable
  • global warming
  • renewable energy
  • biodegradable
  • carbon emissions
  • energy efficiency
  • fossil fuels
  • electric vehicles
  • infrastructure
  • hydrogen fuel
  • nuclear energy
  • advancements in technology
  • pollution
  • agricultural innovations
  • emission reduction
  • clean energy
  • batteries
  • electrolysis
  • dependence on oil
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