IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Some believe that foreign
subjects
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 should be taught in the early
years
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 in
school
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 and not
at
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in
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the
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apply
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high
chool
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school
. In my view, I suggest that despite
of
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apply
show examples
the benefits of the foreign language being taught in
the
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apply
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secondary
, the
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school, the
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 pros of instilling knowledge
to
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in
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 young kids outweigh the cons by far. Teaching
the
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apply
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children who are 10
years
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 and below foreign lessons
such
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 as German, Chinese or Japanese languages has a lot of benefits
as
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, as
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 they are able to grasp and adapt to different kinds of lessons easily and
also
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, their brains during those
years
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 are not overloaded.
For example
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, a study done in 2020 in a German International
school
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 revealed that 98 per cent of the learners at the ages of 4 to 6 passed foreign
subjects
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 compared to 13-
18
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18-year-olds
years
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 who ranked below average.
Therefore
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, the younger the learners , the more they
are excellent
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excel
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 at studying something new.
On the other hand
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, high
scholars
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scholars,
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 since they graduate and decide on what to do at the colleges or universities, studying foreign
subjects
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 will improve their exposure internationally as they can decide to major in one language.
For instance
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, in rural parts of Canada, citizens converse in French. So, a student willing to work there will have an added advantage as the language will be fresh in his or her mind. In conclusion,
however
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 , teaching new foreign
subjects
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 to secondary
school
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may
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students may
show examples
 be beneficial
,
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;
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 it is far better to start with young learners in primary
school
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as
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, as
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 it will be a walk in the park for them.

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task response
To help the answer, make your view clear in the first paragraph and show one or two strong ideas with simple examples.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a short line that tells the idea, then add a little detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to help flow, like first, then, also, but. Keep sentences short and not long.
grammar
Check small grammar points, like 'despite of' and 'high scholars' and spell common words clearly.
strength
You show a clear view that language learning should start early.
strength
You give some real examples from study or places.
strength
The plan of your essay is clear with an end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
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