IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where

‏The Line graph shows information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to three London
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 in
June
Use synonyms
 and
September
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
2013.
we
Fix capitalization
We
show examples
 will summarise the important
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 for the line graph.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in summer 2013 it's not stable .
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 in
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
 it's
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Fix capitalization
Museum
show examples
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
Use synonyms
June
Punctuation problem
June,
show examples
 it fixed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 600
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
increasing
Punctuation problem
, increasing
show examples
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 750
thousand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 in July
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
it's
Verb problem
it
show examples
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decreased
 in August to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
500
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
visitor
Punctuation problem
visitor,
show examples
then
Linking Words
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 in
September
Use synonyms
 to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
around 650
thousand
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
the
Verb problem
had the
show examples
 lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 in
June
Use synonyms
 400
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 to drop in August to to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
300
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
while
Linking Words
 increasing a
September
Use synonyms
 to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
around 450
thousand
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 .
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 the natural history
museum
Use synonyms
 and
June
Use synonyms
 start the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 to around 500
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
dicreasing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 in July and August
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
growth
Replace the word
growing
show examples
 again in
September
Use synonyms
 to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
around 500
thousand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
To sum up
Linking Words
 , we summarise the important information of three
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Use the right word
British Museum
show examples
the
Verb problem
has the
show examples
 highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in summer the British
museum
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the
low
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 is
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
science
Fix capitalization
Science Museum
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, museum, june, september, visitor, thousand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "summarise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • illustrates
  • number of visitors
  • museums
  • from June to September 2013
  • the British Museum
  • the Natural History Museum
  • the Science Museum
  • overall trend
  • attracted
  • the most visitors
  • fewest visitors
  • peak
  • experienced fluctuations
  • decline
  • highlight
  • dominance
  • consistent decline
  • minor resurgence
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