IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

"Some people think that universities should prepare students for the workplace, while others believe their role is solely to focus on academic research. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

While
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 some people believe that the primary purpose of
universities
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 is to prepare students for the workforce, others argue that
universities
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 should focus on improving
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civilization
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civilisation
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 through research, and
therefore
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 exist solely for
this
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 purpose. I agree with both views to some extent, as each presents a valid argument;
however
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, reducing
such
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 an influential institution to a single role contradicts the broader meaning of building a
Use synonyms
civilization
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civilisation
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. It is undeniable that preparing students for employment is a fundamental responsibility of
universities
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. A skilled, scientific workforce forms the foundation of any advanced
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civilization
Change the spelling
civilisation
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.
This
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 level of human capital can only be developed through higher education, which aligns with our cognitive and psychological development. Higher-order thinking skills fully mature only in adulthood, making
universities
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 the ideal environment for cultivating professional competence. As institutions designed for mature learners,
universities
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 provide the most effective setting for preparing individuals for the workplace.
On the other hand
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, without rigorous research and the pursuit of scientific truth,
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civilization
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civilisation
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 would stagnate. Advancing knowledge is a noble mission that requires strong institutional support and substantial resources.
Universities
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 play a crucial role in fostering innovation and scientific progress, which ultimately benefits society as a whole.
Moreover
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, investing in research creates a culture of inquiry that produces highly capable individuals across all sectors.
Although
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 both functions are important, workforce preparation arguably has a broader impact.
While
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Use synonyms
civilization
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civilisation
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 needs researchers to drive innovation, it cannot depend solely on academic discovery. Progress
also
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 requires competent, analytical, and scientifically trained individuals working in every field, from engineering and medicine to business and education.

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task achievement
Make your view clear in the introduction. State how you agree and why.
task achievement
Add 1 or 2 exact examples to show the point about work and research.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences could be made shorter and simpler for easy reading.
coherence and cohesion
Keep ideas in each paragraph focused on one main point.
organization
Clear structure with opening, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Good use of linking words to connect ideas (for example: On the other hand, Moreover).
task response
Discusses both views and shows a final stance.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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