More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

An increasing number of
parents
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give permission to their children to use
computers
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and
tablets
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for the sake of increasing their digital abilities. In
this
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essay, I will explain why the benefits of playing gadgets outweigh the potential drawbacks. On the one hand, it could be argued that
parents
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should forbid their child
to use
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from using
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gadgets because it could pose some challenges. First and foremost, the advancement of technology can create addiction for children
as
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, as
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they are still underage and do not have good behavioural control.
For instance
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, they often play games on
computers
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and
tablets
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with their friends, but ignore how much time they
are in
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spend
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. It is a bad habit since they have to study, so
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then
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their
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parents
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have to watch them carefully.
Secondly
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, nowadays, information is easily accessible, which gives a positive impact, but somehow it
also
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brings a negative effect. As they do not understand which information they are allowed to access or not,
this
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situation can lead them to the data they are prohibited to.
On the other hand
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, I believe with those who let their child use their
computers
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and
tablets
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as media for advancing capabilities.
This
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is mainly because digital skills are a basic thing in today's era, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic. Back
then
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, we were in
that
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those
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times, schools were going online, and teachers gave a lot of homework that had to be done online too. So, it is necessary for them to be able to follow the regulation.
Furthermore
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, in the future, technology is becoming part of the lifestyle that they have to be familiar with first.
Moreover
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, gadgets
also
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bring huge benefits to their brain development. As everything transforms online, they can learn and study,
such
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as a new language, through YouTube, that easy and free to watch.
Furthermore
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, by learning from the facilities that they have, they can expand their social friendship, like through games or other platforms. In conclusion,
while
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computers
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and
tablets
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may bring negative effects, they still offer advantages that outweigh the disadvantages.
Therefore
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, on balance, I remain firmly convinced that the demerits are eclipsed by the merits ,
although
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children's behaviour has to be finely controlled by their
parents
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.

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Positive
Your essay shows a clear view and a simple layout with an intro, body and conclusion.
Coherence
Link ideas with better transitions; some sentences are long or show gaps. Use shorter, clearer sentences and clear linking words.
Task Response
Balance your points more. Give stronger reasons for both sides and end with a clear stance.
Grammar
Improve accuracy. Check grammar and word use (e.g., 'in that times' and 'data they are prohibited to').
Structure
Clear stance on the issue and a basic plan.
Content
Uses a real example about COVID online learning.
Organization
Has an intro and a conclusion.
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