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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that countries shouldproduce food for all population and import as littleas possible.To what extent do you agree ordisagree?

In recent years, the issue of whether a
country
Use synonyms
cut
Wrong verb form
cuts
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 down on
food
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imports
Use synonyms
 as much as possible to achieve full independence in
food
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 production has sparked heated debate. From my perspective, I totally strongly disagree with the idea that a
country
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 should reduce
food
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imports
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 in order to become fully self-sufficient.
Although
Linking Words
 some people argue that
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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imports
Use synonyms
 in order to become fully self-sufficient is beneficial,
this
Linking Words
 view ignores the fact that more people enjoy trying different kinds
Use synonyms
food
Change preposition
of food
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 now, which means that a
country
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 reduces
food
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imports
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 is not effective
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 rare things will become more expensive in the long term.
For example
Linking Words
, there
hardly
Verb problem
are hardly
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 produce avocados
and
Verb problem
produced and
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much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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 people like eating them in my
country
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, which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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 in the price being more expensive.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another compelling argument in
favor
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favour
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 of
this
Linking Words
 view is that countries need to correctly import
food
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 for their own nations. Because
food
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 is an important
carry
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carrier
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 of a
country
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’s culture,
therefore
Linking Words
, it is a vital way
to
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of
show examples
culture
Replace the word
cultural
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 exchange for imported
food
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. The development of every nation cannot do without cultural diversity
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 importing foreign
food
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 can push cross-cultural communication
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 domestic
food
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 production cannot achieve
.
Correct pronoun usage
this.
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Thus
Linking Words
, countries should not excessively cut down on
food
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imports
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.
For example
Linking Words
, China holds international
food
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 and culture exchange exhibitions every year, which
makes
Verb problem
allows
show examples
 us to learn
different
Change preposition
about different
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 countries’ cultures. In conclusion, I firmly believe that all countries need to correctly
impost
Use the right word
impose
show examples
food
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. Only by doing so can we taste a wide variety of foods and enjoy reasonable prices for them.  What is more, we can learn
different
Change preposition
about different
show examples
 countries’ cultures
knowledge
Check wording
apply
show examples
.

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Plan
Plan before you write. State your view in the first sentence and keep to it.
Structure
Make clear paragraphs. Use one idea per paragraph and a closing sentence.
Linking
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, so, also, for example.
Grammar
Look at grammar. Check endings, articles, and verb form.
Content
Give more real examples to explain your point.
Position
You show a clear view on the topic.
Content
You give reasons for your view and try to use examples.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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