IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too aluable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some individuals claim that publishing a lot of information in scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
,
bussines
Correct your spelling
business
 and the academic world is significant.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others support that the privacy of
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is too important in these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of sectors, that’s why the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 shouldn’t be shared freely. In my inspect of view, hiding
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
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 from
the
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apply
show examples
civil life is not logical for a lot of reasons. First of all, the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 needs to be shared to make sense. Since
the
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apply
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ancient times, if humanity didn’t share things that they
realized
Change the spelling
realised
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 or learnt the the
civilization
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civilisation
show examples
 wouldn’t be that developed.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 everyone has the
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
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such
Linking Words
 as having education or a business
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the features in these sectors
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to be equal for all terms of
society
Use synonyms
 to create a fair order in both
sights
Check wording
senses
show examples
. On the
second
Correct word choice
other
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 hand, some topics which are sensitive or dangerous for humanity
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to be hidden from
the
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apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. It’s not about limiting
the
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apply
show examples
freedom
,
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;
show examples
in
Linking Words
contrast
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contrast,
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 it provides freedom to
society
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if everyone had
the
Correct article usage
apply
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access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
 which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 only accessible
for
Change preposition
to
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 leaders of nations or federal
agents
Punctuation problem
agents,
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 there would be
a
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apply
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chaos all over the world.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 or thoughts might be dangerous for some
groups
Check wording
age groups
show examples
 of ages.
Knowledge
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 is a power
but
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, but
show examples
 there needs to be some limits to make it effective.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is
critical
Correct article usage
a critical
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 aspect, with great aims it’s possible to influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 positively
ways
Punctuation problem
, ways
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 with bad aims a facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 apocalypse is inevitable.

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task response
State your view clearly in one line at the start and keep all ideas to back it up.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences. This helps the flow and makes ideas easy to see.
content
Add 2-3 clear examples for each main idea to show why you think so.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like and, but, also, first, then, after that to show how ideas go with each other.
content
The plan is clear: talk about both sides and give your own view.
structure
There is a conclusion that sums up the idea.
coherence
Some simple links are used to join ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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