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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don't want to do, or don't have time to do, for example, household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way of providing work for others? Should people do these things themselves?

In the past, for most traditional families, men
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
 to maintain income, and women
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
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 home to take
care
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
child
Wrong verb form
the children
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the time is quite different
than
Change preposition
from
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 before. These days, it seems like
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are busy
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working,
this
Linking Words
 is becoming common in most families. In my opinion, outsourcing some
househole
Correct your spelling
household
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 is acceptable because it definitely gives
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
certain benefits. The primary reason for paying somebody to do household
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 is efficiency, and
that is
Linking Words
 a valid reason for
people
Use synonyms
 to outsource
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
In particular
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, most
parents
Use synonyms
 both have their own
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 in daytime, because they would like to gain double incomes,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 causes difficulty for them to take
care
Use synonyms
 of their
child
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, most kids may need to be completely taken
care
Use synonyms
 of during
Correct article usage
the age
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age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 1 to 5
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, most
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
 are not able to be
avaible
Correct your spelling
available
 to take
care
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
child
Correct article usage
the child
show examples
 as their time is occupied by working,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means
the
Correct article usage
a
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 nanny is definitely necessary for
Correct article usage
the fmily
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fmily
Correct your spelling
family
.
Hence
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, paying for
nanny
Correct article usage
a nanny
show examples
 is valuable for most
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 when they need in nowadays. An additional reason for my stance is that more
job
Use synonyms
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 would be created,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is
such
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 a great benefit for many
people
Use synonyms
. Granted, in
normal
Correct article usage
a normal
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 perspective,
parents
Use synonyms
 have
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
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 to take
care
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
child
Correct pronoun usage
their child
show examples
, but keeping
great
Correct word choice
a high
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 income is important as well.
This
Linking Words
 provides more
job
Use synonyms
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for other
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, some retired
people
Use synonyms
 are looking for
some
Correct determiner usage
a
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 flexible
job
Use synonyms
 to do as they are too old to work all day as before, but
also
Linking Words
 wish to keep some income for living.
Accordingly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is a great chance for some retired
people
Use synonyms
 to do
nanny
Correct article usage
a nanny
show examples
job
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
. By way of conclusion, as long as it is
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for both
parents
Use synonyms
 and other
people
Use synonyms
 who need
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 to do, it could be suitable to carry out.

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structure
Make your main idea clear at the start and restate it at the end.
content
Add one or two real examples and explain them.
grammar
Fix spelling and use easy, correct words.
content
Clear view on the topic.
content
Good idea to talk about benefits for family.
content
Some useful ideas on how outsourcing can help work.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic contribution
  • Specialization
  • Efficiency
  • Work-life balance
  • Productivity
  • Leisure time
  • Stress reduction
  • Quality of work
  • Trained professionals
  • Dependency
  • Life skills
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Accomplishment
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