IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate locally produced food. What extent do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

There is no iota of doubt that
food
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 plays a significant role in human life. When the
food
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 is transported from different countries to consumers, the process of transportation causes emissions and pollution.
Therefore
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, I believe that the phenomenon of only eating locally produced
crops
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 has a positive impact on the economy and the environment. Regarding the negative side of only using locally produced
crops
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, the first influence is that
people
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 will lose the options for a variety of meals. It is difficult to plant the diverse categories of
crops
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 in every country because soil and climate are different in many countries.
Therefore
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, without imported
food
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, most countries will be challenged to cook myriad categories of dishes. It is a drawback for everyone. On the flip side of the coin, when
people
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 only eat locally produced
crops
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, the national agriculture develops prosperously. Owing to without imported
food
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, it not only reduces carbon dioxide emissions but
also
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 decreases the pollution of fuels.
Moreover
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, if the
crops
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 hadn't been imported, the government would have invested more in the agricultural industry. The farmers have the resources to produce productively
due to
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 the aforementioned reason. Considering all these merits, only eating locally produced
crops
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 is not only friendly for the environment but
also
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 stimulates the economy. In conclusion,
although
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people
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 have a loss without imported
crops
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, many
people
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 benefit from an economic perspective and a preserved environment.

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language
Fix grammar mistakes and wrong word use to make the text clear. For example, 'Owing to without imported food' should be 'Without imported food, ...' and 'iota of doubt' is too strong for this topic.
structure
Make short and simple sentences. Break long lines into two parts so ideas are easy to follow.
task
Keep a clear view in the first paragraph and keep the same idea in the rest of the essay. Say if you think local food is better overall, and show it in all parts.
content
Add more facts or small numbers to back up your points. This will make your claim stronger.
structure
The essay has a real start and end, with a clear view on the topic.
content
The idea of local food and its effect on money and the earth is clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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