The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.

This
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line graph compares the
number
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of
books
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read by two different genders (
men
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and
women
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) during
four
Correct determiner usage
a
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years
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four-year
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period of time,
started
Verb problem
apply
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from 2011 to 2014.
Overall
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, the
number
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of
books
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read by both
men
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and
women
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experienced
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
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trend during these years.
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women
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Women
show examples
read the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
number
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of
books
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in 2013 and the lowest
number
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submited
Correct your spelling
submitted
in 2011. Regarding
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Correct article usage
the men
show examples
men
Check wording
men's
show examples
line graph,
it is clear that
Linking Words
it showed that the
number
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of
books
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read by
men
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increased
dramaticly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
during
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
period of time. From 2011 to
2013
Punctuation problem
2013,
show examples
the
number
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of
books
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read by
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
were
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was
show examples
lower than
woman
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women
show examples
. It began with 3000
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number
Check wording
apply
show examples
in 2011
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it overtook the
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women
Check wording
women's
show examples
graph in 2013 at 10000.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
largest
number
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of
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
read by
men
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accounted for 14000 in 2014. For
women
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, it began with 5000
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number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
books
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in 2011
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it showed
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly
Replace the word
slight
show examples
fall in 2014 to 7000 before reaching the highest
number
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of
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
in 2013. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2013, it showed that the largest
number
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of
books
Use synonyms
read by
women
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
10000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, books, men, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 9 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • library
  • gender
  • reading habits
  • compare
  • significantly
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • consistent
  • fluctuate
  • period
  • summarise
  • graph
  • public library
  • books read
  • Burnaby Public Library
  • 2011 to 2014
  • male
  • female
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