IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

39. Societies that do not respect and honor their women can never make progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

We cannot deny that
women
Use synonyms
 play a central role in
developing
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
 world. From my standpoint, countries that demonstrate disrespectful and unfair attitudes towards their female citizens
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 never become developed. I will elaborate on my reasons for thinking so in the following essay. There is an undeniable fact that all people have
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same human rights,
such
Linking Words
 as education and travel and
work
Punctuation problem
work,
show examples
 to name but a few.
However
Linking Words
, some societies do not respect
women
Use synonyms
's rights, which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 rise to both economic burden and
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
show examples
 society.
This
Linking Words
 is because, when
women
Use synonyms
 are forbidden from
bussines
Correct your spelling
business
 life by the government or their family members,
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 workforce will be reduced, which causes economic challenges.
Moreoever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, when
women
Use synonyms
 felt
noneffective
Use the right word
ineffective
show examples
, they would have some mental illnesses
such
Linking Words
 as
deppresion
Correct your spelling
depression
 or anxiety. From my viewpoint, both the government officials and individuals should recognise to value of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
feminism and its advantages.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 having
this
Linking Words
 idea paves the way for future development.
For example
Linking Words
, there were a lot of feminist
women
Use synonyms
 who
achived
Correct your spelling
achieved
 many
success
Fix the agreement mistake
successes
show examples
 and improved their
countiries
Correct your spelling
countries
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the past. If they did not work or study, their
countiries
Correct your spelling
countries
 would not be
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
. 
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 modern era
reqires
Correct your spelling
requires
women
Use synonyms
 more than ever. In conclusion,having work and social life without
women
Use synonyms
 poses a major threat to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 economy and
overall
Linking Words
 people's well-being. I opine that both the government and people should take responsibility to preserve
women
Use synonyms
's rights.

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planning
Plan your essay first. State your view simply, then add two or three clear reasons with an example.
structure
Make ideas fit each paragraph. Use a new paragraph for each idea.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling. Check easy mistakes like 'business', 'depression', and 'developed'.
vocabulary
Use plain words. Keep sentences short and clear.
content
Your view is clear from the start.
structure
You use cause and effect words like because and as a result.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • respect
  • women
  • progress
  • society
  • education
  • work
  • rights
  • law
  • equality
  • opportunity
  • health
  • economy
  • leader
  • voice
  • culture
  • tradition
  • change
  • policy
  • government
  • school
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