IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantegs of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

During the era of modernisation,
museums
Use synonyms
 which span across art, technology and cultural sectors have become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popular attractions to boost local and international tourism. It is widely believed
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 advantages of charging
visitors
Use synonyms
 for admission
fees
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
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. To discuss the pros and cons of paying the
fees
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will dive into two opposing perspectives
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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to
Punctuation problem
, to
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 form
valid
Correct article usage
a valid
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 debate.
While
Linking Words
 the world
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 is shrinking, it is discouraging for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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visitors
Use synonyms
 to pay additional
fees
Use synonyms
 to enter the museum
under
Punctuation problem
, under
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the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 consideration of individual financial status.
While
Linking Words
 the viewpoint of everyone deserves the right to gain knowledge
while
Linking Words
 visiting national heritage is widely held, the overpriced museum tickets
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 it challenging for low-income communities. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
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, many teenagers and international students refuse to explore major international art shows in NGV as the exhibitions are normally more expensive than other
permenant
Correct your spelling
permanent
 showcases.
This
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turn
Correct subject-verb agreement
turns
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 down the motivation of people who
just
Rephrase
apply
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simply wish to spend leisure time
on
Change preposition
apply
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looking at artefacts
instead
Linking Words
 of investing
of
Change preposition
in
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 the commercial aspects.
However
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, the operational costs of small galleries or
museums
Use synonyms
 are mainly
imbused
Correct your spelling
absorbed
 from the money paid by the
visitors
Use synonyms
. It is undeniable that the invisible costs
such
Linking Words
 as staff wages,
mantainence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
fees
Use synonyms
, and artefacts
transporatation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 should greatly add burden to
museums
Use synonyms
' expenses. Without the public contribution, the
museums
Use synonyms
 could only count on
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
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 funding or grants to maintain the daily work. The
museums
Use synonyms
 need
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
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 from all aspects to ensure the basic regulations
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 run without interruption.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some big
museums
Use synonyms
 could use the admission fee to install advanced
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 and facilities to improve the
overall
Linking Words
 visitor experience. To accommodate individuals' needs, the museum's team has to take
in
Change preposition
into
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 consideration
such
Linking Words
as
Check wording
factors as
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 better
accessubulity
Correct your spelling
accessibility
 for people with disabilities, clearer wayfinding, and sufficient washrooms for
visitors
Use synonyms
' convenience. We could observe that more
museums
Use synonyms
 have installed interactive programs or voice media to increase the
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
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 nd help
deaf
Correct article usage
the deaf
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 community to access the information easily. With societal support, it
escalate
Correct subject-verb agreement
escalates
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 the efficiency of refining the services of the
musuem
Correct your spelling
museum
 environment for more people to
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
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. In conclusion, there are always two sides
of
Change preposition
to
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 a coin.
While
Linking Words
 firm policy should be applied to prevent overcharged ticket prices, I believe charging a small amount of
fees
Use synonyms
 is
resonable
Correct your spelling
reasonable
 to support local
museums
Use synonyms
. Undoubtedly,
museums
Use synonyms
 and galleries serve as a public shared space for knowledge exchange and preservation of cultural history. It is a shared responsibility among individuals and
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 to prolong their presence in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.

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structure
Plan your idea before you write. State your main view in the start and keep it as a guide for each paragraph.
development
Near each idea give a short example. Make sure the example fits the point.
coherence
Use careful links to join ideas. Use words like first, then, also, but to show cause and link.
grammar
Check the form of your words. Use easy spelling and simple grammar.
task
Make intro and conclusion match the task. The intro says what you will say, the conclusion says what you found.
content
The essay shows two sides on the topic.
content
It gives some real examples, like young people and NGV.
structure
It ends with a clear view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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