Young people’s behaviour is often influenced by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important for personal growth, while other people feel that it has distinct disadvantages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Nowadays, mental health issues have
occured
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occurred
commonly among
young
Correct article usage
the young
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community. It is widely held that young people's behaviour is often influenced by people in the same age group
while
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growing up. There is debate
between
Change preposition
over
show examples
whether
peer
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pressure contributes to personal growth
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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or
provoke
Correct subject-verb agreement
provokes
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bad influences.
Hence
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,
this
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essay will dive into each perspective to compare if one notion outweighs another.
Firstly
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, the motivation among
peers
Use synonyms
can push you to grow beyond your comfort zone. They can urge you to try more new tasks, study more, join school clubs, and learn social skills through interactions with friends or mentors, which helps
buiding
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building
confidence.
For example
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, you can join
writing
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a writing
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contest in school to increase your competency,
while
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expanding your vocabulary and writing capabilities as well. In short,
this
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dynamic encourages you to think out of the box and improve your shortcomings.
However
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, it is observed that
peers
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can
also
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influence you to do risky acts or
adapt
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adopt
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bad habits,
such
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as smoking, drinking, cheating, or bullying. Studies show that teenagers are most easily misguided in their adolescent years as they are vulnerable in the explorative stage of their identities and personal beings.
This
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type of negative environment can make you lose your own choice and feel stressed to fit
it
Use the right word
in
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due to
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loss of self-awareness.
Therefore
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,
peer
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pressure becomes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
factor in misleading you to
take
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make
show examples
harmful
Correct article usage
a harmful
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decision.
On the other hand
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, I believe that the impact of
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
prformance
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performance
depends on the
peer
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group you belong to. Positive
peers
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guide you to take on responsibility and good attitudes
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such
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, such
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as self-discipline and humility,
whereas
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bad
peers
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bring you to distress.
While
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schools and family can help you choose
the
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
peers
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wisely, it is crucial to make your own plan in selecting the friend group you trust
with
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apply
show examples
. A good mutual friendship should nurture respect, kindness and care for each other. In conclusion, I think good
peer
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pressure helps when it comes from a kind, ambitious initiative. You should keep
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
own values, learn to say no, and seek positive role models to keep you on the right track.

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language
Make the grammar clearer by fixing key mistakes and reducing long, unclear sentences.
structure
Focus on one clear idea in each paragraph and back it with a simple example.
content
State your view more clearly in the last paragraph and show how your view fits with the ideas you gave before.
content
The essay shows a fair balance of view and your own stance.
cohesion
Link words are used to show order (Firstly, However, On the other hand).
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • friends
  • group
  • grow
  • growth
  • study
  • goal
  • skill
  • habit
  • good
  • bad
  • risk
  • decision
  • choice
  • think
  • talk
  • listen
  • support
  • belong
  • fit in
  • plan
  • value
  • believe
  • confident
  • control
  • guide
  • respect
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