IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people belive that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In recent years, there has been a growing interest in volunteering in modern life.
However
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, some individuals contend that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should be working in their leisure time, but others are against that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 need to earn money. In my view, I firmly believe that community service should be an essential sector, like cleaning schools. These sectors have a more immediate and meaningful impact on citizens' well-being Volunteering is a vital way to improve the
adults
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. To illustrate, several studies indicated that if
teenagers
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 help older people in public areas, they will have a cooperative attitude.
Moreover
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, a study at the University of Nizwa found that
adults
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 learn some skills,
such
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 as organization and communication, approximately 30% of
adults
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 acquire these skills from their parents.
Thus
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,
this
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 practice contributes significantly to improving responsibility.
In contrast
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, there are numerous benefits of an unpaid nation for nation improvement. A main benefit is that it reduces crime. That means more and more
adults
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 work in their free time and avoid social issues.
For instance
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, in Germany,
teenagers
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 have successfully increased their social community by more than 50% annually.
Consequently
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, the outcome will create a safe area. In conclusion, unpaid community work plays a crucial role in future lifestyle,
although
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 overusing volunteering can affect
teenagers
Use synonyms
 and lead to boredom.
That is
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 why the government should make schedules and encourage
this
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 generation with prizes or medals. From my perspective, serving the nation can help build a brighter and sustainable future.

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task response
Be sure to say your view in the first paragraph.
task response
Say clearly why you think it is good for teens to do unpaid work and how this helps both the teen and the town.
task response
Add more real and simple examples that fit the topic.
coherence
Make each paragraph hold one main idea and add a line to link to the next.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas are linked, and keep the order of ideas clear.
language
Check grammar and use simple words. Avoid odd phrases.
content
The view is clear at the start.
structure
There is a clear ending.
content
Some good ideas and use of examples.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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