IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

What problems stop people from doing enough physical exercise and how can they be encouraged to be more active

Regular physical
activity
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role
,
Punctuation problem
;
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Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 some obstacles prevent
people
Use synonyms
 from doing physical
activity
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss some obstacles that prevent
people
Use synonyms
 from doing physical
activity
Use synonyms
 and give suggestions to do more
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
. One of the most significant
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
time
Use synonyms
. Working long hours and academic pressure
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 household responsibilities leave little
time
Use synonyms
 and energy.
As a
Linking Words
consequence
Add a comma
consequence,
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people
Use synonyms
 feel tired and unmotivated to go to the
gym
Use synonyms
.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
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 obstacle is over
use
Check wording
overuse
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 of technology. Social media, gaming usually take individuals
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
time
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
led
Verb problem
has led
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 to less physical
activity
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
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 of
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
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 and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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feel lack of motivation or awareness causes
problems
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
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 doing exercises. To address these issues, several effective measures can be taken. Both
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 and employers work together to solve these
problems
Use synonyms
. Building parks, cycling tracks and outdoor gyms can be another solution. Employers should introduce short
gym
Use synonyms
 breaks or provide
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
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 discount to promote
active
Correct article usage
an active
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 and healthy lifestyle.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, setting achievable goals and exercising with friends make
workout
Correct article usage
the workout
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 more enjoyable. Doing these effective ways can be
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
show examples
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
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 to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
problems
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, lack of
time
Use synonyms
, work pressure,
modern
Correct word choice
and modern
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 technology
always
Verb problem
are always
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be
Verb problem
apply
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problems
Use synonyms
to do
Change preposition
in doing
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
physical exercises. By making physical
activity
Use synonyms
 more enjoyable and accessible, individuals
more
Verb problem
are more
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 likely to adopt
healthier
Correct article usage
a healthier
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 and more active lifestyle.

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grammar
Fix small errors like 'problem' to 'problems' and 'over use' to 'overuse'. This helps the text be easy to read.
structure
Put one idea in each paragraph. Start with a short intro, then body with clear points, then a short conclusion.
content
Add more detail to each point. Give a simple plan or steps to show how to act.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, such as 'first', 'also', 'however', 'for example'.
vocabulary
Use common words and avoid long phrases. Keep word choice simple and clear.
content
The essay has a clear topic and a plan to discuss obstacles and how to help people be more active.
structure
There is an introduction, a body, and a conclusion.
coherence
There are some linking words that connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exercise regimen
  • personal goals
  • individual pace
  • convenience
  • motivation
  • peer pressure
  • structured classes
  • social dynamics
  • accountability
  • external motivation
  • self-discipline
  • peer support
What to do next:
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