IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given line graph illustrates the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to three different
museums
Use synonyms
 in London over a
period
Use synonyms
 of three months from June to September in 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
visitors
Use synonyms
 visited
Use synonyms
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 more attendances were attracted in all three
museums
Use synonyms
 by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
. In June,
Use synonyms
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of entries by 600,000.
Science
Use synonyms
 and Natural History
Museums
Use synonyms
 were visited by almost 550,000 and 400,000 people
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Use synonyms
British
Correct article usage
The British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 experienced an upward trend by July and recorded the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of figures throughout the
period
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, both Natural and
Science
Use synonyms
Museums
Use synonyms
 had
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 decrease in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 from July to August.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 had the least
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in July
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 380,000,
whereas
Linking Words
Natural
Correct article usage
the Natural
show examples
 History
Museum
Use synonyms
 recorded the minimum
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in August at exactly 300,000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all
museums
Use synonyms
 sharply increased in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 between August and September,
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 which
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
maintained at
Verb problem
remaining
show examples
 the most visited
museum
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Science
Use synonyms
 and Natural History
Museums
Use synonyms
 end with almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals at approximately 490,000.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, museums, period, british, museum, science with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • illustrates
  • number of visitors
  • museums
  • from June to September 2013
  • the British Museum
  • the Natural History Museum
  • the Science Museum
  • overall trend
  • attracted
  • the most visitors
  • fewest visitors
  • peak
  • experienced fluctuations
  • decline
  • highlight
  • dominance
  • consistent decline
  • minor resurgence
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