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Band 2.5

some people believe that education should foucs on practical skills rater than traditional academic subjects . to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that vocational learning has become
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
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 sort of
an
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apply
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education
Use synonyms
 in our
modren
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modern
leaves
Use the right word
lives
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,
while
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 others
stronglay
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strongly
 believe that
acadamic
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academic
education
Use synonyms
 and rote learning
remains
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remain
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 the most effective way
which
Correct word choice
that
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 we must
foucing
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focus
in
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on
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 to
recieve
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receive
education
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will
examin
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examine
 both perspectives before presenting my own view.
Body paragraph 1
on
Fix capitalization
On
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 the one hand, vocational learning
provide
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provides
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 students with
a
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apply
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impartant
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important
 skills which help them to enter the job market
diractly
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directly
 without
lost
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losing
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 any time studying many
kind
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kinds
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 of
syllibus
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syllabi that
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 may
be do
Verb problem
apply
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not
need
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be needed
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in
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a spescfic
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spescfic carrer
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specific career
,
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. In
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in addition
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practical
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, practical
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education
Use synonyms
assist
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assists
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learner
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learners
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 to keep them
finance independently
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financially independent
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by
earn
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earning
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 money
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at in
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in
Use the right word
an
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earlier
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early
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 age.
Body paragraph 2
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on
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On
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 the other hand, oppondant views think that academic
education
Use synonyms
povide
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provides
 enormous
beneifits
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benefits
Punctuation problem
. For
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for example
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, the longlife learning
support
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supports
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 creativity and critical thinking in students
,
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;
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Linking Words
furthermore
Punctuation problem
furthermore,
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 school
learing
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learning
rise
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raises
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awarnce
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awareness
 and digital
litercy
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literacy
. to illustrate that when you
recieve
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receive
massive
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a massive
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currculum
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curriculum
 in
defrent knowloge
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different knowledge
, that will help you
treating
Wrong verb form
treat
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 many
kind
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kinds
show examples
 of data and keep you
analyses
Replace the word
analysing
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 it ,
also
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 foster your ability to
proplem solving
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problem-solving
.
Conclusion
in
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In
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conculsion
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conclusion
, I firmly
beleive
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believe
 both vocational learning and academic are very important to
obtain
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ensure
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student
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students
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 have enough
potintial
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potential
for adapting
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to adapt
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modren
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modern
 job market and attain a good
perfomance
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performance
. From my
perspectives
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perspective
show examples
Punctuation problem
, considrable
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considrable
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considerable
thing
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things
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 we have to do
compined
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combined
 them and
treating
Wrong verb form
treat
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 both as a crucial part.

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structure
Plan what you want to say. Use four parts: intro, view 1, view 2, conclusion.
content
Make one clear main point for each part. Do not push many ideas at once.
language
Use simple words. Check spelling and form.
structure
Use a clear topic sentence in each body paragraph.
content
Give a real example for each idea to back it up.
cohesion
Link ideas with words like however, also, therefore to show how they fit.
structure
The essay tries to show both sides.
content
It uses 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' to show balance.
structure
There is a goal to have a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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