IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people believe that education should foucs on practical skills rather than traditional academic subjects.to what extent do you adree or disagree

The argument over the way of learning we have to prioritise whether academic learning or vocational learning it has become increasingly
on fire
Correct word choice
heated
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.
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while
Fix capitalization
While
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 some individuals say vocational learning has become extremely beneficial
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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in recent years. The opponents strongly believe that academic learning and rote learning remain the most effective way. In my opinion, combining
both
Use synonyms
 ways will ameliorate the education.
This
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 essay will examine
both
Use synonyms
 perspectives before presenting my own view. From the side of supporters, vocational learning provides the students with important skills which help them to enter the job market directly without losing any time studying many kinds of syllabi that may not be needed in a specific career.
In addition
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, practical education assists learners to keep them financially independent by earning money at an early age.
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also
Fix capitalization
Also
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, they say learners do not need to pay more tuition fees. But opponents always say that academic education provides enormous benefits ,
for example
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, the
longlife
Correct your spelling
lifelong
 learning supports creativity and critical thinking in students,
furthermore
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, school learning raises awareness and digital literacy. to illustrate that when you receive a massive curriculum in different knowledge, it will help you treat many kinds of data and keep your analysis efficient,
also
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 fostering your ability to solve problems. From my perspective, if we combine
both
Use synonyms
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
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 of
eduction
Use the right word
education
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, we will receive unbelievable results that will help people ,the government and the job market by making work easy ,effective and tidy. In conclusion, I firmly believe
both
Use synonyms
 vocational learning and academic learning are very important to ensure students have enough potential to adapt modern job market and attain a good performance.

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task response
Make your main idea clear in the first paragraph and keep it to the end.
evidence
Add more real life examples to prove your points.
coherence
Use simple connectors to link ideas and stay on one topic in each paragraph.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling, use easy, short sentences.
linguistic accuracy
Watch article use and noun plural rules.
balance
The essay shows a fair view of both sides.
position
The idea to mix both ways is clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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