IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job the want.Others feel that men and women are not equal and therfore there are certaib jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the
job
Use synonyms
 opportunity and equality between both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
 will be discussed .And the common
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 what
should each gender
Correct word order
each gender should
show examples
 do and
work
Use synonyms
 . In the beginning,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the past where women used to
work
Use synonyms
 in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 houses and do the
home
Use the right word
housework
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, taking care of her kids , washing the dishes and clothes ,
clean
Wrong verb form
cleaning
show examples
 the floor ,and cooking
also
Linking Words
 takes care of the farm and buying from the shops.That was the daily activity of the women back
then
Linking Words
 , and they didny have other options to live
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 lives .
However
Linking Words
, men used to have the choice of what to do and where to
work
Use synonyms
 ,
also
Linking Words
 the support of the community was there , so they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 more choices .
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have to get into
collage
Use the right word
college
show examples
 and study in whatever
spacelity
Correct your spelling
speciality
, and do
what ever
Use the right word
whatever
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 they like .
So
Punctuation problem
So,
show examples
yes
Punctuation problem
yes,
show examples
 years
ago
Punctuation problem
ago,
show examples
 there was no equality . In the present, things
changes
Correct subject-verb agreement
change
show examples
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
as
show examples
 time passes
more
Punctuation problem
, more
show examples
 rights and equality , and
oppertunity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 start to open to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls,
collage
Use the right word
college
show examples
 and
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 allowed. Families now
encourging
Correct your spelling
encourage
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 kids to educate and get high grades so they can get a degree, and get a good
job
Use synonyms
.So the concept changed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 girls
now a days
Use the right word
nowadays
show examples
 are going to whatever
spacelity
Correct your spelling
speciality
, and they follow
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 dreams and wishes. Regarding
if
Change preposition
whether
show examples
 it is
boy domenant
Correct your spelling
boy-dominant
work
Use synonyms
 or not . Some people see
this
Linking Words
 in a negative way , and they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 want the right of choice for the women ,
and
Fix capitalization
And
show examples
 in my
Correct your spelling
opinion
openion
Punctuation problem
openion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is unfair , there is no
job
Use synonyms
 for
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 gender , if you see that you can do it and you
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 in
your
Correct pronoun usage
yourself
show examples
 self
that is
Linking Words
 more than enough to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 in it .

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task response
State your clear opinion in the introduction and keep it in all paragraphs; give 1-2 reasons and a simple example to support.
coherence
Organize your essay with a clear plan: intro, 2 body paragraphs (past and present) and a short conclusion. Use linking words to show the flow.
language
Use simple, correct grammar and spell common words correctly. Check basic mistakes to improve clarity.
content
Shows an opinion that no job should be off-limits to women.
structure
Mentions comparison between past and present life for women.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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