Government should focus their spending on public service rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the government should focus their money on public service rather than on the arts.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both views. And
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
believe that both of them are important to spend on and improve them. When the authority
decide
Correct subject-verb agreement
decides
show examples
to spend money on public services
such
Linking Words
as health and education, that means the health service will improve with new materials, more hospitals, and better health care.
While
Linking Words
putting part of the budget on education services, it will develop the awareness of the community to a higher level and help the students.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, taking a part of their spending on arts
such
Linking Words
as music and painting will help the ministry to get more money if they invest it in tourism development and advertising for their culture
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can add new vibes for citizens.
However
Linking Words
, the authority
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to balance the budget between the two services to help their citizens and to guarantee them an easier life,
furthermore
Linking Words
, developing the other side with new job options for people ,
also
Linking Words
a modern city look. In conclusion, to achieve the balance in
this
Linking Words
situation, they have to give the public service more attention, and the other half of the budget , without forgetting that they have to work to improve the other side too.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with your view, then give two sides, and finish with a clear ending.
coherence
Keep ideas in one paragraph. Start with a sentence that shows the point, then add a reason and a short example. Use words that link ideas well.
grammar
Use simple grammar consistently. Check for errors like missing articles, wrong verb form, or plurals.
content
Add small real life examples or facts to show your point, but keep them easy and quick.
content
Clear view of the topic and a plan to discuss both sides.
coherence
Use of linking words such as 'On the other hand' and 'However'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • money
  • use money
  • public service
  • health
  • education
  • roads
  • police
  • fire service
  • arts
  • music
  • paint
  • culture
  • jobs
  • people
  • need
  • cost
  • budget
  • priority
  • balance
  • future
  • today
  • evidence
  • data
  • example
  • local
  • community
  • plan
  • benefit
  • risk
  • quality
  • life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: