IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world some people think that this can not be taken change while others believe action can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, human-caused pollution has
a
Verb problem
had a
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detrimental impact on plants and animals
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide. Some
people
Use synonyms
 tend to believe that
this
Linking Words
 situation cannot be inhibited;
however
Linking Words
, others argue that if some steps can be taken, it can be reduced. I would agree with the latter opinion, and I will elaborate on my reasons for thinking so in the following essay. On the one hand, those who think that reducing negative impact on
human based
Use the right word
human-based
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 activities is impossible argue that
people
Use synonyms
 are heavily dependent on industries and factories in
this
Linking Words
 modern world.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we cannot deny that these facilities play a central role in contributing to greenhouse gas pollution.
For instance
Linking Words
,
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
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 process of mobile phones
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 rise to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental contamination, namely air and water
pollution
Punctuation problem
pollution,
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 to name but a few.
However
Linking Words
, İf individuals did not have phones, there would be chaos in the countries.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 these kinds of technological devices have become an integral part of
Use synonyms
people'
Check wording
people's
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 lives.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who consider that minor actions can result in major consequences argue that if
people
Use synonyms
 adopt an eco-friendly lifestyle in their daily lives, their actions may
be
Verb problem
apply
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pave the way for leaving more
pure
Correct word choice
purer
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 environment
to
Change preposition
for
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 the next generations. To be more specific, when
people
Use synonyms
 attach utmost importance to
recycle
Replace the word
recycling
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 in their houses, and they begin to
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 their waste
according to
Linking Words
 plastic items,
cartoons
Use the right word
cartons
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 and
bio-waste
Use the right word
biowaste
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,
this
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affect
Check wording
apply
show examples
has a very significant impact on preserving the environment. From my standpoint,
people
Use synonyms
 should not underestimate the importance of the small steps and be aware of
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 benefits. In conclusion, there is an undeniable fact that
declining
Wrong verb form
the decline
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 in
plants
Fix the agreement mistake
plant
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 and
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
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 diversity stems from human activities.
Although
Linking Words
 factories and
industirals
Correct your spelling
industries
 pose a considerable threat to the environment, I strongly advocate that
people
Use synonyms
's behaviour and attitudes are of paramount importance to
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
 of habitats.

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development
Explain both views with clear reasons in turn, and add one simple example for each view to show the point.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar to fix mistakes that slow understanding.
coherence
Use small, easy linking words to move from one idea to the next, like first, next, and finally.
style
Make shorter, clear sentences and avoid long, complex ones.
structure
End with a short closing line that restates the view and gives a small thought for the future.
structure
The essay has an introduction that states the writer's view.
structure
There is a plan with three parts: intro, two bodies, and conclusion.
content
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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