IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In different parts of the world,
people
Use synonyms
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
 having a
house
Use synonyms
 in ownership over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
renting
accommodation
Correct article usage
an accommodation
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 a certain importance. Owning a
house
Use synonyms
 is crucial for many
primarily
Punctuation problem
, primarily
show examples
 because of the freedom of
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 they can
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
 by their choice.
Conversely
Linking Words
, I am more prone to think that renting
apartment
Correct article usage
an apartment
show examples
 is a way flexible
Linking Words
due
Check wording
option due
show examples
 to whereabouts
people
Use synonyms
 can change anytime.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there is no surveillance for
people
Use synonyms
 having their own
house
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
supervisor
Correct article usage
a supervisor
show examples
, who
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 in right to come and check their
place
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any moment.
This
Linking Words
 is oftentimes perceived as uncomfortable and inconvenient for renters.
Thus
Linking Words
,
house
Use synonyms
 owners can do whatever they want
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
renovation
Replace the word
renovating
show examples
 and
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
 pets to their homes
without
Punctuation problem
, without
show examples
 permission from anyone. On top of that,
people
Use synonyms
 with their own houses can
economize
Change the spelling
economise
show examples
 on water and gas bills by managing their consumption with their own water and gas boilers. In spite of the evident perks, I am still convinced that renting
flat
Correct article usage
a flat
show examples
 is a better option for me
due to
Linking Words
 numerous reasons. Precisely, the trend
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote jobs is vastly increasing, giving
people
Use synonyms
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to work from any country
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
place
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, leasing an apartment is crucial for them
due to
Linking Words
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
show examples
 to change their location as their job requires.
For example
Linking Words
, it is interpreters
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 need to be in different places or even states on
permanent
Correct article usage
a permanent
show examples
 basis. By renting a flat, they can easily
weather
Verb problem
apply
show examples
withdraw from a contract they signed or resign
due to
Linking Words
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 in another country.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is significantly less pricey to rent an apartment than
purchasing
Wrong verb form
to purchase
show examples
 a
house
Use synonyms
. Many just cannot enjoy
such
Linking Words
 an immense budget so spent.
Thus
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
renting is the preferable choice. To nutshell the aforementioned, I deeply comprehend the option of having an own
house
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 a bigger freedom,
however
Linking Words
, I reckon it
rather
Verb problem
is rather
show examples
 negative
due to
Linking Words
 much less mobility
people
Use synonyms
 can rejoice residing in their own houses. The
inferior
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 price on renting houses and
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to resign from a contract
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any moment
people
Use synonyms
 need to leave a
place
Use synonyms
 is more attractive and positive to me.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay before you write. Make a simple plan with an intro, body and a short conclusion.
development
Use one main idea per paragraph and give a simple example.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and contrast, e.g., First, Next, But, However, Also.
strength
Clear view on the topic
strength
Effort to give reasons for both sides
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: