IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people suggest that international news should study as a subject in secondary school (High School). However,others say that it will be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Students
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study
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 many
subjects
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 in the schools.No one can deny that studying these
subjects
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 are very necessary for them.Some
people
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 think that some
subjects
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 aren'
t
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 important to
study
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.
This
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 essay will examine why international
news
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 should be studied as a subject in high school and why we shouldn'
t
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 put it as a subject. On the one hand, many
people
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 think that international
news
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 must be studied as a subject in secondary school.First,
It
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it
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 helps the
students
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 to know about their
country
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's
news
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.A 2022
study
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 in Germany found that fifty per cent of
students
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 like to gain more information about international
news
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.
For example
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,
students
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 who know about the
news
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 will be more aware of their
country
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's situation.Second,they will be more intelligent
students
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.There are many
students
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have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
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 huge interests
about
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in
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 international studies.
Finally
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,they will do their best to make their
country
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 the first in all majors.When
students
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study
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about
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apply
show examples
international
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news
Punctuation problem
news,
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 they will have the determination to make their
country
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 the best in
world
Correct article usage
the world
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.In my opinion,studying international
news
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 several benefits for them.
On the other hand
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,some
people
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 think that studying international
news
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 will be a waste of time.
Firstly
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,it will be difficult for the
students
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 to understand the
subjects
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.Some of them don'
t
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 like to be focused on
this
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news
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.
For example
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, they want to live their life without thinking about international
news
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.
Next,
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maybe it will affect
students
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 in a bad way.They will be overthinking about
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
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news
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.
Finally
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,some
people
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 won'
t
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 use it in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 it will be a waste of time to
study
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 it.
In addition
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, studying it without understanding the
subjects
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 won'
t
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 be useful for them.I think it may cause a quarrel between different
students
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. In conclusion,studying international
news
Use synonyms
 in schools has many great advantages for
students
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.
Moreover
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,sometimes
people
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 think it is awaste of time to
study
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 it at school.In my opinion,it depends on the
students
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if
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whether
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 they want to
study
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 it in schools or not.

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grammar
Use short, clear sentences. This helps with ideas and grammar.
development
Make one clear idea in each paragraph and back it with one example.
grammar
Check subject and verb form: 'studying these subjects is' not 'are'.
task response
End with a strong conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Use more linking words to show idea flow between paragraphs.
editing
Carefully check spelling and punctuation.
structure
The essay starts with a clear view that there are two sides and gives your own view.
coherence
The essay uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show both sides.
evidence
It includes an example (a 2022 study) to support a point.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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