IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries crime is increasing. What are the main reasons for this? What can be done to improve the situation? Support your position with relevant examples and include your own experience.

Nowadays,
crime
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 is increasing in many countries around the world. There are several reasons for
this
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 problem, and
this
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 essay will discuss the main causes of
crime
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 and suggest possible solutions to improve the situation. One of the main reasons for the increase in
crime
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 is unemployment. When
people
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 do not have a job, they may not have enough money to live, which can push them to commit crimes. Another reason is the lack of
education
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.
People
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 who do not receive proper
education
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 may have fewer opportunities and may choose illegal activities
instead
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.
In addition
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, family problems and social inequality can
also
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 lead to criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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. There are several solutions that governments can take to reduce
crime
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.
First,
Linking Words
they should create more job opportunities, especially for young
people
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.
This
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 would help reduce poverty and give
people
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 a legal way to earn money.
Second,
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governments should invest more in
education
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, as
education
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 helps
people
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 make better choices.
Finally
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, stronger laws and better policing can help prevent
crime
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 and make
people
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 feel safer
in
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In
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 conclusion,
crime
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 is increasing mainly because of unemployment, lack of
education
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, and social problems.
However
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, by improving
education
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, creating jobs, and strengthening law enforcement, governments can reduce
crime
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 and improve safety in society.

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task response
Add more real examples and your own experience to support your points.
coherence
Improve the flow between ideas with clear paragraph links and topic sentences.
grammar
Check grammar and punctuation, for example capitalization after 'in conclusion' and the use of commas.
structure
Make your introduction have a clear idea and a precise conclusion that sums up.
task response
Clear attempt to discuss causes and solutions.
coherence
Uses sequence words to show order (First, Second, Finally).
lexical resource
Simple and easy to read with common words.
coherence
Overall, the essay stays on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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