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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some nations of the world. Today, however, growing global demand has turned this problem into a global one. What are the causes behind the increased demand and what steps can goverments and individuals take to address this problem?

Nowadays, providing fresh
water
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 for
people
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 or other
kind
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kinds
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 of
reasons
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 like industries
makes
Verb problem
raises
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 a lot of concerns for the
government
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 and society.
Additionally
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,
this
Linking Words
 problem has
became
Wrong verb form
become
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global
Correct article usage
a global
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issue
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 because of
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
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of
Change preposition
for
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water
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 in
world
Correct article usage
the world
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain
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reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
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 behind
this
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issue
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 and how
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 can solve
this
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 problem properly.
To begin
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 with,
it is clear that
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 the
resourece
Correct your spelling
resources
 of fresh
water
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 are always limited. The main
resoureces
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resources
 of fresh
water
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 are
snow covered
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snow-covered
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mountain
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mountains
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,
river
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rivers
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, and
ice berg
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icebergs
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.
Moreover
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,
ice bergs
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icebergs
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are
unaccessible
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inaccessible
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 to provide fresh
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water
Punctuation problem
water,
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 make the
most
Correct word choice
largest
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 proportion of
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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 fresh
water
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. There are many
reaons
Correct your spelling
reasons
 for reducing these resources of
water
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.
First,
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the population of
people
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 grows quickly
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it leads to an increase in demand
of
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for
show examples
water
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 for drinking or other
porposes
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purposes
;
for example
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, washing dishes, showering, and watering gardens.
In addition
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,
builiding
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building
 new factories and facilities that
use
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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amount
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 of
water
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 to produce products for
people
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's
need
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needs
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 is another
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reasons
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reason
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 for reducing
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amount
Correct article usage
the amount
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 of
water
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 globally. There are many ways to overcome
this
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issue
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. The
government
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 should implement new
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 about
water
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 consumption;
for instance
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, enforce
people
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 who
use
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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amount
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 of
water
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 to pay extra charges as
penalty
Correct article usage
a penalty
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 or give subsidies to companies or
manufactures
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manufacturers
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 which
use
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 new methods and technologies to save
water
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.
In addition
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, the agriculture and rural
people
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use
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 high
amount
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 of
water
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 for planting or watering their fields. The
government
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 should teach them how to
use
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 new methods and technology that save
water
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 and provide better products
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at
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in
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 the end.
Overall
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, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, we explained the main
reasons
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 for increasing
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water global
Correct word order
global water
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 demands. An increase in population rate
,
Correct word choice
and, developing
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developing
Replace the word
development
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new
Change preposition
of new
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 factories are the main
reasons
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 for
this
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issue
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.
Finally
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,
this
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 essay offers some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 for
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 to deal with
this
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 situation. The resources of
water
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 are limited, so it is our duty to preserve our precious gift from God.

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structure
Plan your essay. Make a quick map: say your main idea in one line and then add two details.
coherence
Start a new paragraph for each big idea. Use a clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph.
content
Give more detail for each reason and each solution. Use real but simple examples.
grammar
Check spell and letter use so words are easy to read and not mixed up.
style
Keep sentences short and direct. Write in simple form to be clear.
content
The essay tries to cover causes and ways to solve.
coherence
There are linking words that help flow.
structure
The introduction states the topic.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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