IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Level: Medium

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, especially after
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 experienced
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
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 revolution, economic
growth
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been regarded as a key driver to eliminate hunger and poverty.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people around the globe
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
have also
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had
Verb problem
apply
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learned lessons and noticed serious side effects of economic
growth
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, environmental pollution.
Although
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 admitting its negative byproduct, I still believe economic
growth
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 plays
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
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 role
to
Change preposition
in
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let
Verb problem
providing
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 people with
ample
Correct article usage
an ample
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 supply of
food
Use synonyms
 and other essential needs. First of all, in
this
Linking Words
capitalism
Replace the word
capitalist
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society
Use synonyms
, cash and the accumulation of wealth
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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pivotal
Correct article usage
a pivotal
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 role in every
aspects
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aspect
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. When it comes to raising crops,
for example
Linking Words
, every
steps
Fix the agreement mistake
step
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 driven by financial incentives. To allocate human resources, to purchase
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
, to transport and sell products - these are the situations that
finance
Verb problem
require finance
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is needed
Verb problem
apply
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. By increasing value
Secondly
Linking Words
, if I imagine
the
Correct article usage
a
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society
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
where
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 economic
growth
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 is less valued, two notable examples can be shown. One is
former
Correct article usage
the former
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 communist USSR
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the other is
primitive
Correct article usage
a primitive
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society
Use synonyms
 which is remote from
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 world. In
USSR
Correct article usage
the USSR
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,
food
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 supply
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 determined by plans and calculations conducted by
central
Correct article usage
the central
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
, not by
Correct article usage
the law
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law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
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 of economics. In theory, it seemed to work, but as you know, the consequence was
deverstating
Correct your spelling
devastating
. The other example,
primitive
Correct article usage
a primitive
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society
Use synonyms
 where
exchange
Correct article usage
the exchange
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 of goods
conducted
Verb problem
is conducted
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 directly,
no
Verb problem
can no
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 longer sustain
this
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 developed world. Nothing works well without capitalism and economics
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 in
this
Linking Words
 modern era.
To conclude
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, I strongly
suppose
Verb problem
believe
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 that
povery
Correct your spelling
poverty
 and
food
Use synonyms
 shortages can only be
demolished
Verb problem
eliminated
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 by
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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 economy. At the same time, environmental issues should be well handled and contained,
not
Correct word choice
so as not
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 to do harm to ecosystems, including humans and other components of nature. By focusing on
well planned
Use the right word
well-planned
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growth
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, people can obtain
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 financial background with ample
food
Use synonyms
.

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grammar
Fix grammar: check sentence form and verb tense. Many phrases do not fit standard English.
organization
Plan the essay: clear intro that states both views, body paragraphs for each view, and a clear conclusion with your view.
vocabulary
Use simple, precise words. Do not use long or mixed sentences.
content
Give clear, fair examples for both sides and check facts about events mentioned.
language
Check spelling and punctuation, e.g., 'deverstating' should be 'devastating'.
task response
The writer tries to discuss both sides of the issue.
task response
There is a clear opinion at the end.
coherence
An attempt is made to use examples to support ideas.
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