MANY JOBS USED TO BE DONE BY HANDS, BUT NOWADAYS AN INCREASING NUMBER OF THEM ARE DONE BY USING MACHINES INSTEAD. DISCUSS THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THIS DEVELOPMENT?

The jobs, which used to be done by
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
hands
Punctuation problem
hands,
show examples
are now
threatend
Correct your spelling
threatened
by the increasing number of
machines
Use synonyms
.Replacing human
hand
Use synonyms
work by
machines
Use synonyms
Verb problem
is considerd
show examples
considerd
Correct your spelling
considered
a very
importan
Correct your spelling
important
topic,and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
we will discuss the advantages and the
disadvanteges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
of
machines
Use synonyms
replacing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
hand
Use synonyms
work. Starting with
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
.
Machines
Use synonyms
can save a lot of time and money and make life much easier.
For example
Linking Words
, Ford
car
Use synonyms
factory builds a whole new
car
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every five minutes,
which's
Use the right word
which is
show examples
incredible when we look at the past
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
In order to build a
Use synonyms
car
Punctuation problem
car,
show examples
it used to take years.
Machines
Use synonyms
more
Verb problem
are more
show examples
often than are more accurate than humans, which saves a lot of money,time,
resources
Correct word choice
and resources
show examples
for companies.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
, the problem with replacing human
Use synonyms
hand work
Use the right word
handwork
show examples
by
machines
Use synonyms
lies in the value that only
human
Correct article usage
a human
show examples
hand
Use synonyms
can bring. The feeling of driving a
car
Use synonyms
knowing that it was built mostly by
Use synonyms
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
adds so much value to it
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
robots,
machines
Use synonyms
can't replicate the art that's done by human
hands
Use synonyms
. In conclusion
.
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
although
Linking Words
jobs done by
Use synonyms
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
are
threatend
Correct your spelling
threatened
by the increasing number of
machines
Use synonyms
,it is considered an
imporant
Correct your spelling
important
topic that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
advantages like saving time and money, and
disadvantegs
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
like lowering the value of material things as we discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

weakness
Task response is not very clear. Try to show a clear view on the topic and add more specific ideas and examples.
tip
Give a short plan in the intro and use a clear restated idea in the conclusion.
tip
Each paragraph should have one main idea, started by a topic sentence, and linked to the next with clear words.
tip
Use links well. Words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'for example' help the flow.
tip
Add more examples. Do not rely on one example only.
tip
Check spelling and grammar, and use simple, short sentences.
structure
There is a clear plan to discuss both sides in the essay.
structure
The writer uses a simple form with intro, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: