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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the population of India and China from the year 2000 to the present day with projections for growth to the year 2050.

The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of people living in two countries,
India
Use synonyms
 and
China
Use synonyms
. It covers data between 2000 and the current times,
as well as
Linking Words
 growth predictions up to
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 2050. The unit is the total
population
Use synonyms
 in billions.
Overall
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 countries have been experiencing an increase in the number of inhabitants.
India
Use synonyms
, noted the biggest rise, which is thought to continue steadily increasing into the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
, despite experiencing a gradual rise as well, is predicted to start decreasing after some time. The year 2000 was the year in which
both
Use synonyms
 countries exhibited
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
population
Use synonyms
average
Fix the agreement mistake
averages
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.
Those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
India
Use synonyms
's was 1000
billion
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of
China
Use synonyms
, just about 1250
billlions
Correct your spelling
billion
. In the following years,
both
Use synonyms
 numbers were on the rise
Linking Words
nevertheless
Punctuation problem
; nevertheless
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, it was
India
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
 which outgrew the numbers presented by
China
Use synonyms
 significantly. They
both
Use synonyms
 reached the same number of inhabitants in 2030, around 1400
billion
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. In the future,
in contrast
Linking Words
 with the growth trend presented till 2030.
China
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 is believed
to begin
Linking Words
 a slow decline,
while
Linking Words
India
Use synonyms
 is expected to continue rising. Eventually, the former would reach a
population
Use synonyms
 of 1400
billion
Use synonyms
 and the latter of around 1600
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2050.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words india, china, population, both, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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