IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say now that we can see films on our phones or tablet there is no need to go to the cinemas, others say to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Although
Linking Words
 we can enjoy
movies
Use synonyms
 on our palms
alomost
Correct your spelling
almost
 anytime
anywhere
Punctuation problem
, anywhere
show examples
 by using the
cutting edge
Use the right word
cutting-edge
show examples
 gadgets like smartphones and tablets, some
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
show examples
 that films should be watched at movie
therters
Correct your spelling
theatres
. I personally prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the latter choice, as I believe it
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 us
superior
Correct article usage
a superior
show examples
 experience
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 several reasons. Movie
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
, which have long been at the
centerpoint
Correct your spelling
centre
 of
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
, still have clear
superiorties
Correct your spelling
superiorities
 to home entertainment.
For instance
Linking Words
, if you go to a well-equipped
therter
Correct your spelling
theatre
, facilities
such
Linking Words
 as a huge screen,
multi demention
Correct your spelling
multi-dimensional
surrounding
Replace the word
surround
show examples
 sound systems,
ultra-high
Correct word choice
and ultra-high
show examples
 resolution
projecter
Correct your spelling
projectors
 elevate your movie experience
unpalalelled
Correct your spelling
unparalleled
 to ordinary environments. What is more, in
therters
Correct your spelling
theatres
, nothing is likely to
intervine
Correct your spelling
interrupt
 your film watching.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we have to admit the
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 of smartphones and tablets. Thanks to these tech
terminal
Fix the agreement mistake
terminals
show examples
 and
widespred
Correct your spelling
widespread
 use of streaming
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as Netflix,
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
show examples
amonunt
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
movies
Use synonyms
 can be enjoyed at your
hands
Check wording
fingertips
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 very cheap subscription fees.
This
Linking Words
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
 us to taste
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
 range of choices
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 very old classics to the latest
blockbuster
Fix the agreement mistake
blockbusters
show examples
 without going anywhere. But
due to
Linking Words
 the limitations of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
size of LCD screen and built-in speakers, excitement and sense of involvement are not enough compared to
Correct article usage
the therters
show examples
therters
Correct your spelling
theatres
.
Overall
Linking Words
, admitting the technological development that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 us enjoy
movies
Use synonyms
 from a wide range of selections at
cheaper
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 prices, I still believe that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
 can be fully enjoyed only at the cinema, as it
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 us unique experiences which are only
availabe
Correct your spelling
available
 there.

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task response
Plan before you write. Make a clear plan so you show both views well and give your own view in a full way.
coherence
Use linking words and tidy links to show how ideas go from one to the next. Every paragraph should have one main idea.
language
Fix errors in spelling and form. Use short, clean sentences. Check for small slips that make ideas hard to read.
content
Clear view and a simple end say what you think.
structure
Good balance of two sides in the talk.
coherence
Some good contrasts and a clear plan in paragraphs.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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