IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

There is a debate over whether teamwork or individual
work
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for
students
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some individuals consider individual
work
Use synonyms
 beneficial because of the full-related focus and no distraction, I side with those who prefer teamwork
due to
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 some advantages ,
such
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 as the exchange of ideas and competition among
students
Use synonyms
. These days, learners find self-study beneficial
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 one of the primary reasons for
that is
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 definitely concentration. They consider that, if they do something alone, it has
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
to
Fix the agreement mistake
impact on
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productivity. Because, during the
work
Use synonyms
 with the group, some
students
Use synonyms
 distract them by yapping or entertaining. So, it seems useful to sustain attention to only
lesson
Correct pronoun usage
one lesson
show examples
.
However
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, character
also
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 plays a major role
to study
Change preposition
in studying
show examples
 individually. Some
students
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 are introverts .So they struggle to get on well with others
and
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, and
show examples
 it creates an uncomfortable environment around them, which leads to fragmented concentration.
On the other hand
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, group effort has
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
 to the outlook of learners because of friendly competition. If they compete with each other with the assistance of gamified and interactive learning, it develops their mindset to take over other learners and listen to their ideas , which can be a useful tool for them.
As a result
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, they would be more proactive and learn to
work
Use synonyms
 with a group.
Moreover
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, collaboration is
also
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 one
the
Change preposition
of the
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 key factor that
,
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apply
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listening to others and acknowledging something they had no clue before
also
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 broaden their horizon simultaneously.
To conclude
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, some
students
Use synonyms
 consider self-study beneficial
due to
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 full attention and no diversion.
Therefore
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, I
concerned
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am concerned
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 that
,
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apply
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 teamwork is preferable rather than individual one because of friendly competition and swapping ideas, expanding thinking.

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task response
Be clear from the top. Say your view in the first or second sentence and keep it in the main lines to the end.
coherence
Split ideas into four easy parts: intro, one side, the other side, and a short conclusion. Use simple linking words like 'also', 'but', 'and' to move from one idea to the next.
grammar
Check that each paragraph has one main idea. Small grammar fixes can help a lot.
lexical
Use simple and exact words. Change awkward phrases like 'full-related focus' to 'full focus' or 'complete attention'.
examples
Give one or two real examples to show how group work or self study can help. This makes your points stronger.
strength
The essay shows you know both sides and you take a clear view.
structure
You use contrast words to show difference between sides.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaborative learning
  • peer feedback
  • social interaction
  • deep understanding
  • group dynamics
  • personalized learning
  • self-discipline
  • concentration
  • diverse perspectives
  • isolation
  • motivation
  • peer support
  • groupthink
  • distractions
  • commitment
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