IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some
people
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 think that it is more effective for
students
Use synonyms
 to
study
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 in a
group
Punctuation problem
group,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others believe that it is better for them to
study
Use synonyms
 alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion There is a debate over whether teamwork or individual work is beneficial for
students
Use synonyms
. I agree with those who
study
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 with a group, because it
guaranteed
Wrong verb form
guarantees
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 that it
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 eventually end with success.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore two views and give my opinion. Nowadays, self-
study
Use synonyms
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 widespread among learners as most
people
Use synonyms
 encourage them to achieve their goals by themselves. Social media influencers encourage
students
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 to
study
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 alone. It seems aesthetic or kind of comfortable for individuals who are introverted. Introverted
people
Use synonyms
 are extremely shy and do not prefer
be
Verb problem
to be
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 with someone else.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
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 who are in that type rarely do they join to team or not,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 still prefer to be alone. Because of shyness or thinking overwhelmingly about
others
Check wording
others'
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opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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 would not let them
study
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with
Change preposition
in
show examples
group
Correct article usage
a group
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. Yet, most
people
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 achieved a lot of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 with their strength by focusing on their task only without any distractions,
such
Linking Words
 as entertainment or chatting with peers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of individuals still prefer to be with their team, including friends. If
people
Use synonyms
study
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 together, they are likely to compete with each other. Competition plays a key role
on
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in
show examples
 achievement.
Scientist
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Scientists
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 believe that if
people
Use synonyms
 compete together, they will be more proactive and attentive.
This
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 is led by a
hug
Use the right word
huge
show examples
 self-development through a game or arrangement. Another key reason why collaboration is especially important is that
students
Use synonyms
 will share their knowledge
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other. Numerous
people
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 reckon that discussion or chit-chatting is excessive for learners, yet it is not actually true, for they share their perception and
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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to
Change preposition
with
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the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 partner, whether it is related to their educational topic or globally, it doesn’t matter, still they broaden their horizons
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the way

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task response
State your view in the first paragraph and keep it clear. Say your main idea is that group study helps learning, and explain why.
task response
Give two or three clear points for each view and explain how they help learning. Finish with a short conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Use simple linking words to show order, like first, also, but, however, and finally.
grammar
Use simple and correct grammar. Break long sentences into shorter ones to avoid mistakes.
content
Use examples that support your idea clearly. If you say 'scientists', say 'some studies' or 'research shows', or keep the claim general.
content
The writer tries to present both sides of the issue.
content
There are concrete points about introverts and sharing ideas.
structure
The draft shows effort to connect ideas with reasons.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaborative learning
  • peer feedback
  • social interaction
  • deep understanding
  • group dynamics
  • personalized learning
  • self-discipline
  • concentration
  • diverse perspectives
  • isolation
  • motivation
  • peer support
  • groupthink
  • distractions
  • commitment
What to do next:
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