IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The line graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

The line graph below displays the average annual expenditures of US consumers on cell
phone
Use synonyms
 and residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 from 2001 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most notable feature is the divergence in trends between the figures, with cell
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 gradually increasing over the period,
while
Linking Words
 residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 decreasing steadily. Cell
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 showed the most significant changes compared to residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
,
initially
Linking Words
 starting at approximately 700
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2001, before later undergoing a slight fluctuation between 2002 and 2003, eventually rising steadily and reaching around 750
dollars
Use synonyms
 by the end of the timeline. Making it the most distinctive trend over the nine-year period.
By contrast
Linking Words
, residential phones followed the opposite trend, beginning at approximately 200
dollars
Use synonyms
 in the year 2001, after which
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 experienced a sharp decline in the middle of the timeframe, which was followed by a steadier decrease shortly after, ultimately ending at around 400
dollars
Use synonyms
 by the year 2010.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, services, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: