IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people’s lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 choose to wear and dress based on the global
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
, where
this
Linking Words
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
spread
Verb problem
has spread
show examples
 widely.
This
Linking Words
 essay will state the main reasons behind the new
fashion
Use synonyms
 trend and will mention the advantages. The main
couses
Correct your spelling
causes
 make
people
Use synonyms
behaves
Correct subject-verb agreement
behave
show examples
 like
this
Linking Words
 is the social media
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
. Now, all the
plateforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
such
Linking Words
 as
Tiktok
Use the right word
TikTok
show examples
, Instagram are
easy access
Replace the word
easily accessible
show examples
, without any
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
 on the content. When the followers watch the influencers wear
certein
Correct your spelling
certain
 dress, the blinded-viewer
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to follow them without thinking, for
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 micro-bag that one
infuencer
Correct your spelling
influencer
buy
Correct subject-verb agreement
buys
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, which is useless -nothing
fit
Replace the word
fits
show examples
 inside-, but even though, the percentage of
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
this
Linking Words
 product increases highly.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,
the the
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
 affects a lot on the way of thinking about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothes, as now many
people
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 wear only shirts and pants just to
normalize
Change the spelling
normalise
show examples
 with the culture and place where he/she
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 the indian girls will never wear
sari
Correct article usage
a sari
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 outside India.
Fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
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 are full
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 drawbacks
, following
Punctuation problem
. Following
show examples
 the
trends
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 without thinking
before will
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beforehand
show examples
 tends to
spend
Wrong verb form
result in spending
show examples
 too much money
without
Change preposition
on
show examples
real
Correct word choice
useless
show examples
valuable products
Check wording
items
show examples
, as in the Labobo trend,
spends
Correct pronoun usage
which spends
show examples
 more than 100 dollars
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a useless item.
Additional
Replace the word
In addition
show examples
 to that,
people
Use synonyms
 will
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their unique
indintities
Correct your spelling
identities
, everyone will be similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
, and if you have a
diiferent
Correct your spelling
different
 opinion,
this
Linking Words
 will be
as
Verb problem
seen as
show examples
 a shame on your personality.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
fashion
Use synonyms
trends
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a product of
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
affects
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and the open-access
plateforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
, which
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
have many
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mainly with spending money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 non-valuable products and
loosing
Use the right word
losing
show examples
 the unique
idintity
Correct your spelling
identity
 for each person.
As in
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, we should not follow any
trnds
Correct your spelling
trends
 with thinking about it.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short intro that shows your view. Then 2-3 short body parts with one idea each and an example. End with a short conclusion that repeats your view.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar. Use simple, common words. Check word forms and spellings carefully.
content
Give stronger and more clear examples. Explain how they show trends. Decide your view: positive, negative, or both, and stay with it.
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas, like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'for example'. This helps readers follow your thoughts.
content
The writer talks about a real topic and gives some examples.
structure
There is a clear ending that shows an opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • global
  • trend
  • fashion
  • style
  • fashionable
  • influencer
  • celebrity
  • brand
  • access
  • marketing
  • popular
  • worldwide
  • connect
  • showcase
  • event
  • clothing
  • culture
  • rise
  • buy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: