IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people buy unnecessary things and get into debt when they do not need them. why people who buy extra things are getting into debt and discuss possible solutions.

In the modern era, spending
money
Use synonyms
 on unneeded items by most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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individual is becoming one
the
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of the
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 major
reasons
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 behind that they are facing debt problems in their life.
Although
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,
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apply
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 there are numerous
reasons
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about
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for
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this
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 trend,
but
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apply
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will discuss the possible solutions to overcome
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with the
reasons
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, social media is the main reason of wasting
money
Use synonyms
 on unwanted things by
people
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 that leads to them into debt because as
people
Use synonyms
 would like to spend their spare time on social sites, they are posting the content on their accounts to show their lifestyles to others and they are trying to present them rich by wearing branded outfits, posting food pictures and regular vacations.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they have to spend their
money
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 on clothes,
foods
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food
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 and unnecessary travelling trips which get them into debt.
Moreover
Linking Words
, advertising puts strong emphasis on
the
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apply
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people
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's financial status because
sometime
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sometimes
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 they
purchased
Wrong verb form
purchase
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on
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apply
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discounted goods even though they are not essential for them. After discussing the
reasons
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,
this
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 problem has some
relevance
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relevant
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 solutions to tackle
this
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.
Firstly
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, they should make their budget plans in order to save their
money
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 helps them to
keep
Verb problem
be
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 aware
about
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of
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 unnecessary expenses.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 should
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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into
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on
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 the
saving accounts
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savings account
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 policies
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such
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, such
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 as
,
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apply
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 life insurance coverage policies
because
Punctuation problem
, because
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 with
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this
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this,
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 they can save their salaries and one of the best
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 to control their overspending.
For instance
Linking Words
, the survey conducted by
Correct article usage
the bank
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bank
Fix capitalization
Bank
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 of India
to
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apply
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determined
that
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apply
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why
people
Use synonyms
 enrolled
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 life insurance plans
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the highest number of individuals said that to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
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spending their income on unwanted things.

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structure
Plan your answer with a clear start, middle, and end. Use a short intro that states the main idea, two body parts for reasons and for solutions, and a short end.
language
Use simple and correct sentences. Check for run on lines and wrong phrases.
content
Give more real and clear examples. Do not rely on only one or two ideas.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like 'also', 'therefore', 'but', 'for example'.
content
The task is touched with both reasons and solutions.
idea
There is some idea about how social media can lead to debt.
content
A real example is given in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer culture
  • Impulsive purchases
  • Financial literacy
  • Retail therapy
  • Sustainable living
  • Minimalism
  • Psychological tricks
  • Credit facilities
  • Debt cycle
  • Budgeting tools
What to do next:
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