IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the bar charts give information about the salaries and university fees of students from three universities in two spheres-Law and Business. Summatise the information by selcting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevent.

The bar charts show the
salaries
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 and the
tuition
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 paid by students who study
Law
Use synonyms
 and
Business
Use synonyms
 at three universities, A, B and
C
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
salaries
Use synonyms
 and
tuition
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 increase from
University
Use synonyms
 A to
University
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 for both subjects. It can
also
Linking Words
 be seen that
Business
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 usually earn more money than
Law
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
, but they
also
Linking Words
 have to pay higher
fees
Use synonyms
. For
Law
Use synonyms
,
graduates
Use synonyms
 from
University
Use synonyms
 A earn about 40
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, which is the same as the
tuition
Use synonyms
 fee. At
University
Use synonyms
 B, the salary is still around 40
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the fee increases to about 60
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. At
University
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
,
Law
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 earn slightly less than 40
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, but the
tuition
Use synonyms
 fee is nearly 60
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, making
this
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
 the most expensive for
Law
Use synonyms
 students. For
Business
Use synonyms
,
salaries
Use synonyms
 are higher than those of
Law
Use synonyms
 at all three universities. At
University
Use synonyms
 A,
Business
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 earn about 30
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 and pay around 40
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in
fees
Use synonyms
. At
University
Use synonyms
 B,
salaries
Use synonyms
 increase to about 40
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
fees
Use synonyms
 rise to around 50
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. At
University
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
,
salaries
Use synonyms
 remain at about 40
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, but
fees
Use synonyms
 reach almost 60
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
University
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 has the highest
tuition
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 for both subjects, and
although
Linking Words
Business
Use synonyms
 is more expensive to study, it offers better
salaries
Use synonyms
 than
Law
Use synonyms
 at all three universities

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, graduates, tuition, fees, law, business, c, university, thousand, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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