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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is a widely accepted fact that children nowadays are very tech savvy. They are very adept in using electronic gadgets like laptops, smartphones, tablets and personal computers. This essay will thoroughly examine the positive and negative aspects of widespread adoption by children.

It is widely acknowledged that modern
children
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 are extremely tech-savvy. From an early age, they become proficient in using electronic devices
such
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 as smartphones, laptops, and tablets.
While
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this
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 widespread use of
technology
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 offers numerous benefits, it
also
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 brings certain drawbacks.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides before reaching a conclusion. On the one hand, the use of
technology
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 by
children
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 has several significant advantages. First of all, electronic gadgets provide access to a vast amount of educational resources. With the help of the internet,
children
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 can easily learn new
skills
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, watch instructional videos, and obtain information within seconds.
This
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 enhances their learning experience and supports independent study.
Moreover
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, technological tools help develop important
skills
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 required in the modern world.
For instance
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, familiarity with computers and software prepares
children
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 for future academic and professional environments.
In addition
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,
technology
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 enables
children
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 to communicate easily with friends and family, which can strengthen social connections.
On the other hand
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, excessive reliance on
technology
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 can have negative consequences. One major issue is that
children
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 may become addicted to electronic devices. Spending long hours on smartphones or video games can reduce their interest in outdoor activities and physical exercise, leading to health problems
such
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 as obesity and poor eyesight.
Furthermore
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, overuse of
technology
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 can negatively affect social
skills
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.
Children
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 who spend most of their time online may struggle to interact confidently in real-life situations. Another concern is exposure to inappropriate content on the internet, which can have harmful effects on their mental and emotional development. In conclusion,
although
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technology
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 provides
children
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 with valuable educational opportunities and essential modern
skills
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, its excessive use can lead to health, social, and
behavioral
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behavioural
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 problems.
Therefore
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, it is important for parents and teachers to guide
children
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 in using
technology
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 in a balanced and responsible manner so that its benefits can be
maximized
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maximised
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while
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 its disadvantages are
minimized
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minimised
show examples
.

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development
Give more detail to each main point, with a clear example to back it up.
cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to show you connect ideas smoothly.
style
Keep wording simple but precise, and avoid repeating the same phrase in a row.
structure
End with a strong restate of your view and a short sum of points.
task
Clear task focus and balanced view.
structure
Good structure with good end and start.
content
Examples are on key ideas and easy to see.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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