IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The tables shows how these causes affected three regions of world during the 1990s.

This
Linking Words
 report derives from the listed charts, which compare the causes of environmental
degradation
Use synonyms
 and how they affected lands in three regions of the world during the 1990s. By and large, it can be seen that over-grazing was the dominant cause,
while
Linking Words
 deforestation and over-cultivation had inferior contributions to
land
Use synonyms
degradation
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. The most
land
Use synonyms
degradation
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 affected was faced by Europe, Oceania experienced almost 2 times fewer, and North America barely had an influence on the causes. Precisely, over-grazing by animals was recorded as the highest contributing factor to
land
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degradation
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, comprising 35% of the total. It is deforestation and over-cultivation, which played a second fiddle, consisting of 30% and 28%, respectively. Solely a
little
Correct word choice
small
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 percentage of 7% touched different causes of environmental
degradation
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, having picked 9.8% in
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
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,
affecting
Wrong verb form
affected
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majorly
Rephrase
mainly
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 by deforestation, Europe encountered 23%
totally
Replace the word
total
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.
Instead
Linking Words
, the crucial problem in Oceania was over-grazing, with a rate of 11.3%, but the total percentage had been seen a bit higher, resulting in 13%. North America felt the least effect of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 of 5% as a whole,
whereas
Linking Words
 over-cultivation and over-grazing, comprising 3.3% and 1.5%
.
Rephrase
respectively.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words degradation, land with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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